Saturday, October 16, 2004

It's all about relationships

Everything is. Family. Friends. Sales. When there are compatible people and similar expectations, it's just great, and it works, as long as everyone is willing to communicate honestly. But if one party blows that trust, it's pretty hard to retrieve, if even worth the effort.

The past few days have hammered that home: community relationships. Growing friendships. Once upon a time friendships that have deteriorated. Thankful-for-my-wonderful-husband relationships.

It's one of those sleep-elusive nights when the monkey mind takes over, and swings from relationships to to-do lists to regrets about stuff that is so far past that it everyone but me has probably forgotten about it.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Looking back

We had fun, Gina and I, talking today. It's been some nine years since I first met her, and it wasn't long before we hit it off despite the difference in our ages.

She taught me a lot -- I don't think I told her that! She watched the 'new' me emerge over those few years, showed me some Web sites, played me music I'd not listened to, and was a kindred soul in that office, hotbed of conservatism that it was. Thanks.

I don't even feel like the same person I was then. So much has changed in my life and my outlook! And how grateful I am.

Monday, October 11, 2004

A fresh piece of paper

in the typewriter. That's what this feels like, this blogging.

I used to love that newness, that anticipation of writing, of creating: I'd put a clean, white sheet into the auto feed of the IBM Selectric (or whatever typewriter I had at the time), or roll it in manually. Reach for the cigarettes and light one, ashtray placed to my right, next to the full cup of coffee I'd just poured. And then contemplate that blank page. Once I started, the cigarette burned to ash, the coffee cooled, and my fingers flew. And paused on the keys sometimes, while I read what I'd written.

So here it is, out there for just anyone to find (or be invited to view).

We'll see how this goes. For now, it's a fresh start.