#Reverb 14, Day 18

1. What nourishes your soul? How would you like to incorporate more of this into your life in 2015?

2. Ah ha moment: Did you have an “ah ha” moment this year?  Was it a big one?  Or just a small enlightenment?

1. My reiki group began to meet early in 2014, and it has nourished the spiritual yearning within me all year, although I want more -- and we are bonding as a group and beginning to deepen what we're doing. I think there are more people hungry for spirit these days, and sometimes the traditional church doesn't quite fill all that need. The wonderful thing about the reiki/spirit group is that it is compatible with any religious practice, so doesn't replace church participation and membership or beliefs. I love that, not that I am a part of a church here, but some of our members are.

As we have gotten to know each other better, we are contributing talents and interests to shape what we are doing, and being open to opportunity to learn and experience more.

At one meeting, we brought drums or instruments and enjoyed a musical circle with lots of energy and rhythm, drawing spirit energy in a big way. One result of that meeting was that I now have my own drum, a heart spirit drum made for me by a craftsman that one of our circle knows well, and at least two more are ordering drums for themselves. 

At the Winter Solstice yesterday (clearly I'm writing this post a few days late!), we met at one of our group's home in the country and gathered by a little singing creek in a green meadow. It's been rainy here for most of December (and we aren't complaining since California has been in such a drought), but yesterday was fairly mild with only a slight mist in the air. We had a fire going to warm up our drums and ourselves, and we invited spirit with a wonderful drum and flute circle, ceremoniously discarded those things that no longer wish to carry with us, and set intention for the new year. We laughed, played, prayed, drummed, and welcomed the Return of the Sunchild to us. And then we ate chocolate and toffees and bourbon balls and cinnamon sticks and tangerines and persimmons and coffee and tea. It was a glorious day.

More of that. Every quarter at least. 

2. I don't remember a huge 'ah-ha' moment this year. There was a realization moment -- perhaps an 'ah-ha' -- when my cardiologist told us that I was the 'perfect' candidate for an ablation and that it could get rid of my afib and allow me, perhaps, to get off heart meds and blood thinners. I remember thinking "yeah, no, maybe in the future" and then went home and read about the procedure. Processed it, as I do with most major decisions. Resisted. Thought. Talked. Watched some videos. And then saw my doctor a few weeks later and told her I was ready to do it. The EP called me the next day to schedule an appointment. It could change the quality of my life completely. 

It has. 

I am off blood thinners and heart meds. I have been in normal sinus rhythm since Aug. 25. (and yes, I know that the heart can take up to a year to heal, and that yes, afib can come back). For now, I'm good. I'm so grateful. And it is a big 'ah-ha' to feel normal heart rate and rhythm EVERY DAY.

 

  

#Reverb 14, Day 8

1. The hectic pace of our lives can make it difficult to remain connected to the things and the people that matter the most to us. We get wrapped up in our work or our busyness and connection falls by the wayside. 

How have you created and/or sustained connections in your life this year?

2. Hero: Who was your hero this year? Tell us why. What makes a hero in your eyes?

1. This is a blessing of retirement, I think -- to be able to spend time when and how and with whom you want. And yet there are still friends I seldom see or talk to, not because I don't want the connection, but because we get caught up in routines and travel and simply don't follow through. 

Friendship requires intention to sustain no matter what age we are, or to what degree our 'busy-ness' takes over our lives. When I was younger, I still found time to be with friends, to write letters or call (since there was no email nor cell phones back in the olden days). Not sure how I did it, but I made the time because it was important to do so.

Facebook has been a wonderful way for me to maintain some connection with friends I don't see or talk with  ear-to-ear very often, to strengthen some familial ties that have never been strong because of great distance between our homes, and even to nurture friendships that are much more local. This year I got to see a cousin I hadn't seen in, oh, more than 40 years, in great part because of the connection we'd established through Facebook! I try not to be a nuisance by reposting too much stuff, but making my comments personal. By reading posts and seeing pictures, I can get a much better idea of what is going on in the lives of some friends, what they like and don't like, and learn a lot about them. That is fun and interesting, and I hope they feel the same way about what I post!

The new reiki study and practice group that I began attending early this year has been the best new connection, however, meeting monthly but often connecting more than that through a FB group and/or meeting for a reiki session. Most of the members are new friends for me, and I am loving getting to know them better both through our meetings and classes, but also through our FB group and their pages. 

Social media can be a total pain and too much of an obsession, but it also can really help build connections when used responsibly and honestly. 

I still like sending emails (seldom snail mail any more), though, and for the past several years have sent a brief email five days a week to a few family members and friends (added at their request) just to stay in touch and let them know I'm thinking of them every day. I always include a quote that either I need to hear or think they do. I don't expect a reply from any of them, but occasionally get a response that lets me know my correspondence is appreciated. It's sort of like a little prayer for each of them as I send it -- and it blesses me too. 

And I've gotten a few snail mail cards from friends and/or family too, non-birthday ones, that have made me feel loved and blessed. It may be old-fashioned, but there can be a real pleasure in re-reading a note or a card that sits on your table or desk. I'd like to be more intentional about sending those this next year.

2. While I hadn't thought of her as a 'hero,' I have a friend and teacher and neighbor who has been such a wonderful friend and mentor and teacher to me this year especially.  Jessie Woods is a local business owner (The Gold Exchange) who is usually at the forefront of any downtown business promotion, but also is an incredibly creative and generous person who gives her time, expertise, and money to charitable causes, and sponsors several of them. 

She is also a reiki master and my teacher, and has donated space for our reiki group to meet and practice. And she has been right there for me every time I have asked for help with healing mind or spirit, even when I know she has been busy with meetings and her own business. 

She puts her beliefs and words into generous and thoughtful actions in a way I've seldom seen. And her example makes me want to donate my money and energy to others, to be kind and available when I'm asked for help, and to live my own beliefs in a positive and helpful way.

I am so grateful for her example and presence in my life and in our town, and for her leadership and generosity in establishing our reiki study group. We are all blessed who participate in it, and who know her.  Jessie makes a difference in the lives of many people in our area, and she inspires me to be kinder, more generous, and to keep learning and growing. Thank you, my friend.

August Moon 14: Day 8 -- Manifesting

Kat tells us to 'put out the call.' Who could help you manifest your dream life? Ask the universe for what you need. And she generously invites us to write that in a letter, mail it to her, and she'll mail it back.

I've done this one. I have wanted a community of spirit to share and learn, and I'm in it now. I've taken  Level I Reiki classes from two wonderful local teachers and practice it regularly on myself and with a group monthly, and other friends as often as we can do it. We talk. We share. We support and learn. But I asked the Universe to bring it to me, to help me keep open eyes and heart to see it.

That's what I need to be doing at this time in my life: paying attention to spirit and how to manifest more of it in my life. And that's working.

Reverb 11--Day 15-- Passion and Teachers

#1 Prompt: Passion: What did you become/continue to be sincerely passionate about in 2011? When you are in the moment doing something you love what does look + feel like? 

#2 Prompt: Teaching Moment - Sometimes we find teachers in the most unexpected places. Who surprised you as a teacher this year, and what did you learn?


#1 -- There was not much passion in much of anything that I did in 2011 -- this last year has been one more of just getting through it. I don't like feeling so uncreative and stagnant, so am planning to rev that up in 2012.

I was able to get onstage a couple of times, though -- two Vagina Monologues performances ("The Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy" -- I adore doing that one with all the fun moans and the fabulous audience response) and two Red Bluff mystery dinner theater productions of "What You Seize is What You Get."  And one read-through of "Night, Mother," a dark play about suicide that I'd hoped to do with a wonderful Redding actress and friend, but the producer decided it was too much of a downer. Our read-through had everyone in tears, however, and I think we would have rocked it. Ah, well.


When I'm onstage, however, everything else disappears and I'm just THERE, right THERE, and totally focused on what is. The words and actions and character just flow through me (assuming adequate preparation and rehearsal, that is) and out into the audience. I love, LOVE, that feeling, and when the audience responds, it is an enormous rush of joy and power. I've been told by others that I bring an energy to the stage that boosts not only my performance, but that of the whole production, and if that's true, it makes my heart glad. A live performance is thrilling (and scary too) because you get THAT ONE shot at it for that particular audience. Every show is different.


I love writing when I'm in the zone and all I'm thinking of is words on screen, but that is never, ever a one-shot best performance deal. It's totally different energy.


#2 -- I've believed for years in the Buddhist proverb: "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Understanding who the teacher is isn't always quite so simple, however, which makes me think of a quote from Robert Hunter's lyrics "Scarlet Begonias: "Once in a while/you get shown the light/in the strangest of places/if you look at it right."

One of my teachers this year was very evident: my yoga instructor, who is also a wonderful, very intuitive massage therapist, and an energetic, insightful, spiritual friend to boot. I learn from her with nearly every class, but also have enjoyed her company in other venues this year. She is straightforward, kind, open, and I so appreciate her presence in my life and the things I continue to learn from her.

Another teacher  -- categorized perhaps 'in the strangest of places' -- was an actor in the murder mystery production who showed me why I was where I needed to be this year and what really matters about it. I admit that sometimes my attitude in rehearsal was way less than positive, and the role was not particularly challenging, the play was  -- well, let's say it was, um, not meaty, and the director likes to direct on the fly, changing things right up to the dress rehearsal -- and beyond --. 

We talked at some length over several weeks, and I finally understood that the important part was the relationships with the cast members (even though it was a fund-raiser, and a very successful one at that): meeting and working with people of all ages and stages, and nurturing friendships, not the play itself, really. Most of the actors have done little, if any, theater in the past and aren't likely to do much more than another mystery dinner, but they are enthusiastic and talented and committed, with schedules that are far busier than my own. He definitely showed me the light, and I value his friendship and perspective.

Another 'teacher' this year was the April issue of O Magazine that featured poetry by Mary Oliver. That dark and stormy night when I read her poem "The Journey" was a life-changing moment for me, and I've been able to see more clearly what I must do ever since. I wrote about that 'aha' moment.

I am grateful for such teachers and I hope that I have the clarity of thought to recognize them when they are there for me. 

 

Books - Day 14 -- favorite character

Day 14 – Favorite character in a book (of any sex or gender)

Probably my favorite character of all time is Katherine (Kate) from Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew." I love her strength, her wily, opinionated, vulnerable dialogue. I love her spirit and her temper. I love her independence, her interdependence, and that she does not, in the end, lose that spirit.

While the gender relationships in the play have been debated for centuries, I have always believed that at the end Kate and Petruchio are equals, each well suited to the other, and have found a comfortable relationship through their jabs and jests. Yet they respect who the other is, I believe, and relish that.

My dad read me this play when I was young, along with others of his favorites, and that has always colored my enjoyment of Shakespeare. He taught me that Shakespeare must be taught as theatre first, and that you truly cannot understand the plays unless you can visualize the staging. When I took a Shakespeare class in college, the teacher was all about the etymology of the words and phrases, and it took the joy out of it. When I taught it to high schoolers, we usually read it out loud and always had a model of the Globe Theatre handy for reference, as well as special projects about the times, the audiences, the actors, and the theatre itself.

It was the one role I always wanted to play and never have, save for a scene done in high school during a variety show for the student body. I loved every line of the dialogue: "If I be waspish, best beware my sting!"

I loved the Burton-Taylor coupling in the 1967 Franco Zeffirelli version and the lush colors and textures of the film. The lighting was a photographer's dream -- warm, deep, and vividly enhancing the landscapes, the costumes, and the sets. I loved the chemistry between the two fiery actors and the nuances of their interpretation of their characters. Given their passionate, often tumultuous relationship off-screen, this play might well have been written for them.

My daughter's middle name is Kate, so named after this independent, spirited woman who ended up in a deeply loving relationship of equals. May that eventually be so.