Women! Are you really going to stand for this?

Donald Trump said out loud and very publicly this week what the Republicans have pussy-footed around saying (through enacting and proposing and supporting anti-reproductive rights legislation) for years:

    Women who have abortions should be punished.

and while he may not have said it in these exact words, what he meant was:

    Women should not be allowed to determine what medical procedures are performed or medications prescribed when it comes to their reproductive systems.

     Women's lives are not important when a  fertilized egg is growing in a uterus. That group of cells takes priority over any medical, emotional, or spiritual needs of the woman.

    If women think they can get away with acting in their own best interests on anything relating to reproductive rights, they better think again, because WE WILL COME AFTER THEM. 

It's been all over the news, and many groups (including some of the Repubs) have responded in shock and dismay.

But all you have to do is to look at the state of reproductive health legislation in this country to know that Trump has just voiced exactly what the majority of our Republican legislators (both federal and state), and not just a few Democrats, alas, really think.

That's what Trump has done throughout his bombastic and unprecedented presidential campaign on many topics, not just this one, actually. He has openly voiced what is not politically correct or acceptable to say. (And I am NOT defending him on this.)  The maybe-not-quite-voiced conclusions? Women (and minorities, Muslims, Mexicans, immigrants) should NOT be treated equally. They are not worthy, they are not as good as (white Christian) men, they do not deserve equal pay for equal work, they cannot and should not be allowed to determine what happens to their own bodies. But we support women, they say ....in the bedroom, the kitchen, the nursery, the classroom, as nurses and caretakers...not in the executive offices, as decision makers, as innovators, as doctors or lawyers....

But Trump and all the other presidential campaign candidates and associated events are not the real subject of this particular blog post.

THIS is:
What I do not understand (and haven't, really, for years) is WHY the women of this country are allowing Trump and the lawmakers who believe and say these things about women's reproductive rights to get away with it?

WHY are you not protesting and actively campaigning to defeat candidates who would take away this very personal, very basic right of an individual to determine her own medical treatment and options?

WHY are you silent when state after state after state limits access to safe and effective and LEGAL access to birth control and wellness checkups and medication and mammogram screenings and reproductive cancer screenings, and yes, abortion?

WHY do you believe that a group of mostly men, mostly older, should determine how, if, and when you receive medical care and medications as it relates to your reproductive organs?

WHY on earth would you believe that ANYone, ANY organization, ANY group, ANY law, has the RIGHT to tell you what you can and cannot do about your body?

******************
I remember when effective birth control was not readily available. I remember when abortion was not legal and thousands of women were helped by an underground network of clergy, doctors, lawyers, and others to receive what we all hoped would be safe abortions. I remember women who died from illegal, botched, kitchen table procedures, who were rendered sterile or maimed because of desperate do-it-yourself coat hanger and knitting needle attempts.

I supported and worked for safe and legal abortion, for access to birth control and reproductive counseling and medical tests and wellness procedures. Planned Parenthood was a godsend for millions of women then, and continues -- even though it has been so hobbled by the untruths and vicious lies that have been spread this last year -- to do so now. I lobbied on Capital Hill and in the Missouri legislature. I wrote letters and gave interviews and marched in picket lines and parades. I was then and continue to be PRO-CHOICE, even though my reproductive days are long over.

So where are you, Millennials and Generation X and Generation Z? 

What are you doing to ensure that these rights stay legal and accessible?

What are you going to do when our presidential candidates tell you that women who have abortions should be punished?

Do you not understand that your access to safe and legal abortion is under attack -- and is dwindling?

Do you not understand that your access to safe and effective birth control is under attack...and being curtailed?

Do you not understand that your right to make medical decisions for yourself is already limited and is likely to be even more so?

How can you not care?

****************

Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. George Santayana
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/georgesant101521.html

 “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” ~ George Santayana in The Life of Reason, 1905.

“People are always quick to call evil what they do not know. The unknown sprouts fear. It spreads like an infection, burrowing into every facet of their lives. They need a scapegoat, someone to blame. Fingers are pointed, accusations are made, and a target lands on somebody’s back. They grow angry. They turn violent.
To history, human nature must be a stubborn and tiring student. No matter how many times history tries to show it the error of its ways, it never learns from its mistakes.”
― Kelseyleigh Reber, If I Resist

Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. George Santayana
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/georgesant101521.html

Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. George Santayana
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/georgesant101521.htm

August Moon 14: Day 8 -- Manifesting

Kat tells us to 'put out the call.' Who could help you manifest your dream life? Ask the universe for what you need. And she generously invites us to write that in a letter, mail it to her, and she'll mail it back.

I've done this one. I have wanted a community of spirit to share and learn, and I'm in it now. I've taken  Level I Reiki classes from two wonderful local teachers and practice it regularly on myself and with a group monthly, and other friends as often as we can do it. We talk. We share. We support and learn. But I asked the Universe to bring it to me, to help me keep open eyes and heart to see it.

That's what I need to be doing at this time in my life: paying attention to spirit and how to manifest more of it in my life. And that's working.

Saving the only life I can

Like many whose nature it is to take care of others, I have an almost overwhelming need to make things 'all right' when I know a friend or relative is having problems, sometimes to the point of obsession and to the detriment of my own sleep and daily life.

I want to 'fix' it. I want to offer advice and care. I want their issues to be resolved and for them not to be troubled with whatever it is.

I've done this all my life.

Over the years I've learned to (mostly) shut up and only offer advice if I'm asked, although I still sometimes venture an opinion if I think it will be received as it was meant -- to be helpful. I don't leap in anymore (hardly ever) with my superwoman cape bearing food, money, or tangible 'help' that might ease the pain of whatever issue it is for the individual.

I am especially guilty of asking too many questions, mostly of my daughters, although I have curbed that urge significantly in the last year or two -- admittedly probably not to their satisfaction. I try not to offer unsolicited advice very often, at least.

But I have mom-radar that works overtime and picks up little things here and there that sometimes can feed my obsessive mind and fertile imagination. Sometimes I'm wrong and everything is pretty much okay. And I hate it when I'm right and things start crashing down.

I want my children (and friends) to be okay, to have lives that are satisfying and reasonably calm and with enough of everything to keep them healthy, safe, fed, clothed, warm, and housed.

But I also understand with everything in me that is rational that I cannot live their lives and make their choices for them. I must be okay with watching them fail sometimes and without trying to fix anything.

(I'll admit that both Tony and I have, in the past, 'fixed' things, at least somewhat: Made it easier to get to a goal, or offered support when maybe it would have been better to stand back, lovingly. But we've worked on reasonable boundaries for our behavior and for their expectations, and it has succeeded fairly well, although not without some occasional pain and angst on both sides.)

When someone you love makes choices that appear to be dangerous either to their health or well-being, setting boundaries becomes far more difficult, and yet even more essential.

I've invested much time and money and worry in our girls, especially as some issues have proven to be so huge and ongoing, even a matter of survival. It's taken a toll on me that I've realized more clearly in recent months, and I've been working on relinquishing control, whether by giving my opinion or taking charge of getting things done, or checking in (asking questions).

I got smacked upside the head last week, though, when I was reading through the new O Magazine issue. It was one of our recently frequent stormy, windy nights with rain and very strong gusts howling outside, and I was reading in bed, just prior to turning off the light (as I do every night).

The issue is about poetry and the importance it has for so many of us, how it's shaped our actions or given us touchstones to live by. (I've especially loved Robert Frost since I first read him so many decades ago and still can recite several, for instance. )

On this night, though, I was reading Maria Shriver's interview with poet Mary Oliver. Shriver had included her favorite of Oliver's poems, "The Journey," which I read after I'd finished the article.

And it said exactly what I've needed to hear in exactly the words that would resonate so deeply that I couldn't rationalize my behavior and feelings anymore.

I've read it every day since, (puddling up every time) repeating the last words over and over to myself: "...determined to do the only thing you could do--determined to save the only life you could save."

That would be mine.

And that's my new mantra. It's making things easier for me, actually. It's on the order of the old 12-step saying, "I am powerless over people, places and things" -- but somehow it has been especially meaningful for me right now.

There is more of my life behind me than is ahead of me. I will not abdicate that in favor of someone else's life, no matter how much I love them and want to make things better.

I still have hopes and dreams and plans to achieve for myself. And nobody else can do that for me except me. No one WILL do that for me except me. And I must allow those I care about to do the same for their own lives, regardless of what I might think about it. It is not mine to live.

So I'm finally moving ahead with my own life: taking care of me first, doing things I want to do, living more in the moment -- my moment, not someone else's moment.

And I'm keeping my head up, watching for the stars to break through the clouds. Because they will. They are.

Reverb 10 -- Wise actions

Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

When I broke my wrist and needed surgery, it was immediately obvious to me that I could not continue to freelance -- I couldn't take notes (right hand) and typing/mousing, while not impossible, was difficult and tedious. My head was fuzzy from meds -- and I'll confess that my heart had not been in it for some time and I'd struggled with writing the stories, as I've mentioned here previously.

I had to do something immediately, too, with deadlines fast approaching. And practically the morning after my fall, I woke knowing who I wanted to recommend as my replacement.

I had a friend who I knew was a better writer than she realized, who knew lots of people in the county, and who needed a boost. So I talked to her, talked to my editors, and a new freelancer was born. And it has proven to be a wonderful choice all the way around: both of us are happy with it. I am so grateful!

The second wisest decision I made this year was to get an attorney to help with Princess #1's disability case instead of again trying to pursue this on our own, after two denials. And it worked: she was approved just recently. Both Princess #1 and I have commented on how much better we both feel with that burden lifted, even though we still have work to do to get it fully implemented. Again, I am sooooo grateful for help, admitting that there are some things that I MUST ask for help in doing, reluctant as I usually am to do so.

I hope the lesson I've learned is just that: to ask for help rather than to try to slog through the mire by myself. People are generous, I've learned, and are willing to help carry a load, or at least show me the way through the swamp, if I only ask.