Women! Are you really going to stand for this?

Donald Trump said out loud and very publicly this week what the Republicans have pussy-footed around saying (through enacting and proposing and supporting anti-reproductive rights legislation) for years:

    Women who have abortions should be punished.

and while he may not have said it in these exact words, what he meant was:

    Women should not be allowed to determine what medical procedures are performed or medications prescribed when it comes to their reproductive systems.

     Women's lives are not important when a  fertilized egg is growing in a uterus. That group of cells takes priority over any medical, emotional, or spiritual needs of the woman.

    If women think they can get away with acting in their own best interests on anything relating to reproductive rights, they better think again, because WE WILL COME AFTER THEM. 

It's been all over the news, and many groups (including some of the Repubs) have responded in shock and dismay.

But all you have to do is to look at the state of reproductive health legislation in this country to know that Trump has just voiced exactly what the majority of our Republican legislators (both federal and state), and not just a few Democrats, alas, really think.

That's what Trump has done throughout his bombastic and unprecedented presidential campaign on many topics, not just this one, actually. He has openly voiced what is not politically correct or acceptable to say. (And I am NOT defending him on this.)  The maybe-not-quite-voiced conclusions? Women (and minorities, Muslims, Mexicans, immigrants) should NOT be treated equally. They are not worthy, they are not as good as (white Christian) men, they do not deserve equal pay for equal work, they cannot and should not be allowed to determine what happens to their own bodies. But we support women, they say ....in the bedroom, the kitchen, the nursery, the classroom, as nurses and caretakers...not in the executive offices, as decision makers, as innovators, as doctors or lawyers....

But Trump and all the other presidential campaign candidates and associated events are not the real subject of this particular blog post.

THIS is:
What I do not understand (and haven't, really, for years) is WHY the women of this country are allowing Trump and the lawmakers who believe and say these things about women's reproductive rights to get away with it?

WHY are you not protesting and actively campaigning to defeat candidates who would take away this very personal, very basic right of an individual to determine her own medical treatment and options?

WHY are you silent when state after state after state limits access to safe and effective and LEGAL access to birth control and wellness checkups and medication and mammogram screenings and reproductive cancer screenings, and yes, abortion?

WHY do you believe that a group of mostly men, mostly older, should determine how, if, and when you receive medical care and medications as it relates to your reproductive organs?

WHY on earth would you believe that ANYone, ANY organization, ANY group, ANY law, has the RIGHT to tell you what you can and cannot do about your body?

******************
I remember when effective birth control was not readily available. I remember when abortion was not legal and thousands of women were helped by an underground network of clergy, doctors, lawyers, and others to receive what we all hoped would be safe abortions. I remember women who died from illegal, botched, kitchen table procedures, who were rendered sterile or maimed because of desperate do-it-yourself coat hanger and knitting needle attempts.

I supported and worked for safe and legal abortion, for access to birth control and reproductive counseling and medical tests and wellness procedures. Planned Parenthood was a godsend for millions of women then, and continues -- even though it has been so hobbled by the untruths and vicious lies that have been spread this last year -- to do so now. I lobbied on Capital Hill and in the Missouri legislature. I wrote letters and gave interviews and marched in picket lines and parades. I was then and continue to be PRO-CHOICE, even though my reproductive days are long over.

So where are you, Millennials and Generation X and Generation Z? 

What are you doing to ensure that these rights stay legal and accessible?

What are you going to do when our presidential candidates tell you that women who have abortions should be punished?

Do you not understand that your access to safe and legal abortion is under attack -- and is dwindling?

Do you not understand that your access to safe and effective birth control is under attack...and being curtailed?

Do you not understand that your right to make medical decisions for yourself is already limited and is likely to be even more so?

How can you not care?

****************

Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. George Santayana
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/georgesant101521.html

 “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” ~ George Santayana in The Life of Reason, 1905.

“People are always quick to call evil what they do not know. The unknown sprouts fear. It spreads like an infection, burrowing into every facet of their lives. They need a scapegoat, someone to blame. Fingers are pointed, accusations are made, and a target lands on somebody’s back. They grow angry. They turn violent.
To history, human nature must be a stubborn and tiring student. No matter how many times history tries to show it the error of its ways, it never learns from its mistakes.”
― Kelseyleigh Reber, If I Resist

Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. George Santayana
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/georgesant101521.html

Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. George Santayana
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/georgesant101521.htm

A note to my United States Postal Carrier

Dear Thin Lady with the Hoodie who stands at our subdivision mailboxes peering intently at the letters in your hand:

Please go find another job.
This is not working for us. It can't be working very well for you, either, based on the conversation I had with our postmaster one day last week, and a mail supervisor the day before. And honestly, I'm working up to another conversation with the postmaster about the quality of our mail delivery service.  (I learned also that mine was among MANY complaints received in recent weeks, so this is not new.)

I know the current carriers are training you so that they can have a little time off from their current six-day-a-week delivery schedule. I talked to your aunt. She was not helpful. She said, "I'm doing the best I can."

It isn't enough.

You actually have a handbook that describes in detail the requirements of your job as a rural postal carrier. There is a lot to learn and a great deal of reporting accountability, and I can certainly see where aspects of the job are difficult to remember.

But when you get it all together, your job is to deliver the correct mail to the address on the package/envelope, and not put it in someone else's box. You are not doing that very well. If you are dyslexic, then find a job that doesn't require you to read numbers and letters with complete accuracy.  It isn't this one.

Twice in the last two weeks, I have had packages placed in others' mailboxes (and I'm wondering now about things expected over the last few months but never received). You had no way of knowing what was inside: it could have been a priceless heirloom, a birthday gift, prescription medication, a freebie giveaway. IT DOESN'T MATTER what was inside: your job is to deliver the mail to the address. You failed to do that.

In one case, my neighbor/friend called to tell me about it, and I retrieved the package from him. In the other, it was left in someone's box who I don't know well, and it was retrieved by a Postal Service supervisor who came out to the subdivision boxes after I went to the post office to find out what to do, since the package sender had called to make sure I'd received it and was able to track it as having been placed in the parcel locker. The supervisor opened the main panel of the mailboxes and searched through all the individual slots until he found my package which, despite having been delivered the previous day, was thankfully still in the individual's locker box.

I'd really like to believe that the person in whose box it was placed would have notified me or returned it to the Post Office or left it in the box with a note that said "Misdelivered." That's what I would do.  But what if they didn't? What if it was medication that they could steal or sell? Or financial account information that could be used for identify theft? A check that could be cashed? Government documents that could jeopardize a person's medical or legal benefits? Are we going to find stacks of mail behind a dumpster that you just didn't have time to delivery properly? Yikes.
 
YOU are liable and responsible, missy, just as much as the person who receives mail not intended for them.

You have a solemn and clear responsibility to deliver the mail only to the person to whom it is addressed, and you did not do that. I'm now waiting on a report from my doctor who told me it was mailed last week, and then again on Tuesday. Not here yet. We'll see if it comes tomorrow. (And of course I will check with the doctor before I head for the Post Office.)

Mail delivery is not just a job, it is a trust, a contract, between the sender and the carrier to get it to where it needs to go. I have great respect for the US Postal Service for doing an immense job correctly most of the time, and I am amazed that it goes as well as it does. But you're a weak link here, and it sounds as though you've had adequate time to learn the process. Please find something else to do, for both our sakes. Because I won't stop complaining until it's right.

Haters gonna hate....I guess

For those of you who do not want to read my take on a political issue, stop now. Don't bother to comment. 

Along with millions of others, I have watched and celebrated the decisions this week handed down by the Supreme Court of the United States. It's not that either of them directly affect me now; it's that they do impact my friends and family, along with so many millions who have worked so long and so hard to make them happen, who have prayed for them to happen, whose lives are changed for the good because they happened.

But this post is not directly about either decision.

It's about seeing that a Facebook friend 'liked' a post by someone else that piqued my curiosity enough for me to go read the post.

The accompanying picture showed the White House illuminated by rainbow lights -- an image that was all over social media. But this original poster had written about how disturbing the picture was -- not because of the ruling, but because of the "fucking clown who lives here" and who "feels it's his right to involve himself in your life...." The post ended by saying that Americans are slaves and sheep to the media and the lies "the pompous ass who lives in this house dictates."    

Whoa, Nellie.

So....President Obama is responsible for the marriage equality ruling? Huh? Because of his lies and fabrications? Because he wants to control our lives? 

We learn early in school -- well, at least I did -- that our government has three branches in order to act as checks and balances for the others. We learn how they function. And we learn that the Supreme Court's  job is to make sure our state and federal laws and our President's actions are within the boundaries set by the Constitution. (There is more basic info here...)

The President had nothing to do with the Court's decision(s). Under our Constitution and our laws, he could not assume that power. The Congress didn't either. Nor did the media, folks. 

The Court decided the way they did based on the Constitution and how the case that was argued before them is interpreted through Constitutional law. Nothing else. 

This post was clearly from someone who hates our President. HATES him fiercely and irrationally and vengefully. And while all our Presidents have had their haters (I was no fan of George W. Bush, believe me), President Obama has been the subject of more vitriolic venom and vengeful action than ever before (or, as in the recent Congress, INaction, deliberately and for no other reason than the Republican Congress HATED that Obama was in the White House and made a pact not to pass any Democratic bills).

The primary basis for this hatred is race. You know it; I know it; they know it. It just KILLS them to see a black family in the White House, a black man as the leader of our United States. Any other reason given is way secondary to this fact. It's just not acceptable to publicly hate on a black man in power because of his color; especially not when he is our duly elected President (by a MAJORITY of the voters, by the way). So the haters always find another way to justify their diatribes and hate speech, even when Obama had nothing to do with the reason the haters state -- like this Supreme Court ruling, for instance. It's his race, people. His black skin. That's the real reason.

In truth, however, President Obama has been an extremely influential leader (despite the Republicans in Congress). Most remarkable is that he actually managed to get a national healthcare bill passed -- a feat attempted by leaders of both parties since 1912. But there is a lot more on his star chart. Read the article.

(I have absolutely NO doubt that if Hillary Clinton becomes the next President of the United States that she will be the next target for extreme hatred and vilification by the conservative camps. And that, friends, will be because of her sex: a woman? In the White House? As the Commander in Chief? Leader of the free world? A WOMAN?)

So yes, this post disturbed me a lot. The fact that someone I know 'liked' what the poster wrote disturbs me too. It's worth pointing out that both the original poster and the person I know have many inspirational and motivational posts on their public pages -- comments that urge people to keep going, to stay positive, to be who you are and embrace life, among others. To write or approve of something so full of hate and contempt (on so many levels, from the full text in the original post) seems to belie their good words of hope and encouragement and acceptance. I'm not sure you can do both and actually live what you purport to believe. 

There is a popular quote by Janis Ian making its way around social media: "We don't have to agree on anything to be kind to one another." 

Maybe that doesn't extend to politics, to Supreme Court decisions, or Democrat-Republican, liberal or conservative differences and opinions. Or religion, especially when one religion sees itself as the only right way and everybody else is wrong, no question, no arguments. Or social justice issues, where everyone is equal but some are a little more equal than others, especially if you have money, are male, and are white. 

But I think it does. 

However:
*** Do not make the mistake of thinking that I am a Pollyanna who never sees the ugly side of anything. Do not think for one moment that I do not know what it is to lobby and fight hard for issues I believe in, or to be bitterly disappointed in the actions and inactions of others, especially politicians, but also corporate management. Do not label me as a do-gooder, knee-jerk liberal Yankee Democrat who doesn't know what the "real" world is like. And especially do not dismiss my incredibly good research skills, my ability to write an impactful letter or testimony or opinion piece, and my Scorpio nature. All while being kind, of course....





 

#Reverb 14, Day 6

1. Despite our usually sunny dispositions and dedication to the practice of “assuming positive intent,” we all occasionally find ourselves having to deal with an incredibly unpleasant individual.

While I’m sure you always handle it with the tact and finesse for which you’ve become so well known, I’m going to ask you to step outside yourself for just a moment.

Think back to such a situation: if the gloves were off, how you really would have liked to have dealt with them?

2. Money:  Where did you spend your money this year?  Did you save it instead?  What, if anything, would you like to do with your finances this year?

1. Just when you think you're making progress on creating boundaries and letting stress go, here comes this prompt, inviting us to let our inner tyrant out. Huh. 

I haven't really had a close encounter of the nasty kind for several years, partly because I make it a point to avoid putting myself in the paths of such people, and will leave a situation entirely if necessary. It is my experience that there are no winners here; that in fact responding with similar nastiness will only fan the already hot tempers that are burning up any semblance of reason. And I always react physically -- racing heartbeat, agitated mind, flushed face, and often with tears of rage. Yuk. 

 This is not a new topic for me. I wrote about a couple of instances where there was some really nasty behavior going on in our neighborhood: the first, and then the second, same people. Along with others, I walked out of the meeting, my parting shot to the 80+-year-old man who is still the nastiest person I have ever met being a heartfelt, snarled "F**K YOU." Not something I generally say in public.

As I said yesterday, the strongest statement is often silence, if you can stand it. It frustrates the angry person who wants to get a big, equally nasty reaction out of you. I've certainly been in a few situations where silence would have been taken for acquiescence, however, and I just *had* to open my mouth and say what I thought, which, of course, resulted in escalation of the whole thing to a new nasty high. There is no point in arguing with someone who is convinced that s/he is in the right about something. Walk out. Don't go back. Ever. If it's family, think long and hard about how much you want this person in your life, causing this much stress to you. Not every person who is related to you by blood can be classified 'family.' 

2. Moneymoneymoneymoney....We are so blessed in retirement to have enough to do what we want to do. Not wild spending spree nor diamonds and expensive car-type money, mind you. But enough to cover our needs and allow us to have fun.

We traveled this year in our little travel trailer, Sallie Forth, spending a couple of weeks in Oregon near Crater Lake, and then another three weeks in Washington state, visiting our daughter and enjoying the incredible beauty and majesty of the Olympic Peninsula and Mount Rainier. We took pictures. We ate good food. We spent time sitting by the ocean, and going to museums, and enjoying our campsites in beautiful surroundings. We had our inside kitties with us too, and that is always a joy. We will do more traveling in 2015. 

We are in the time of life to enjoy the fruits of our years of labor, and we are. There is a balance, of course, in spending retirement dollars because we don't want to overspend and have nothing left should we live longer than expected, but neither do we intend to pinch pennies so our children can enjoy our money when we no longer need it! Our new slogan is "If not now, when?"

 

  

February Reverb -- Ya gotta have heart

The prompt for February is, of course, about HEART.

Heart | Show us your heart.  Let it all hang out.  When have you thrown yourself into a challenge, or shown/received love?

One thing that is becoming more clear as I grow older is that my understanding, my appreciation and gratitude for certain things expands and deepens with age. Yeah, sort of like the fine wine thing, I suppose. And I have to believe it's good, even when it is scary.

Love for my children, for instance. Oh, when they're young and tender and so vulnerable and innocent, you love them more than anything in the world and would do anything to keep them safe. It is very hard to let that instinct go when they're old enough to make adult decisions and live with the consequences of those choices, especially when the consequences are just devastatingly harmful (from my perspective, anyway, and any person with half a brain could SEE that if they would just open their eyes and ears and LISTEN to their mother....)

((Excuse me.)) 

Watching that happen is scary-awful for a parent who has tried hard to be a responsible, loving, supportive parent. And. There. Is. NOTHING. You. Can. Do. To. FIX. ANYTHING. Which is even more scary-awful because you could fix anything once upon a time, remember?

I've had to do way more watching than I could ever have imagined. I have watched my children in situations that are light-years distant from any experience in my whole life, and I don't mean that in a good way. My heart has shredded itself with worry and fear and grief and anger and disgust. It has wept for days and weeks over things I cannot change for them. It has resolved to back off, to let it go to God, to put my focus on myself, which I work on every damned day, with some success, actually. But it still hurts with every new sad revelation, and I have to remind myself again that mine is the only life I can save.

Love for my spouse...spouse: such an impersonal word for the person who means more to me than anyone, whose opinion I value more than my own, whose heart I hold within my own heart. The relationship we have is  one I coveted for years as I watched the fairly rare couples who had it, and when my first marriage ended, I knew I would never settle for anything less, even if it meant being single for the rest of my life. Blessedly, the Universe threw us in each other's path very quickly, and we had enough sanity left to recognize what a miracle we had. It has only deepened and grown in the 16+ years since we met for the first time on a Pacifica beach. I am so grateful to be loved and cherished the way I am, and I am so blessed to have him to love and cherish back. There is not a day that ends without each of us expressing that love and gratitude to the other.

Love for life.  As I age, I am far more aware of just how very fragile we are physically, especially, and how a moment can change everything. That's come from a few accidents -- a badly broken wrist from a parking lot fall, a kidney full of blood from a rehearsal mishap --  and medical crises -- a gangrenous gall bladder discovered after three days of thinking the pain and fever were a heart attack, the death of a friend from a bad infection that didn't get medical attention quickly enough. My afib can cause a great deal of anxiety about my heart health -- although that is also tied up in that misdiagnosed heart attack from 12 years ago! Aches and pains and bumps and bruises can trigger intensive scrutiny: is that normal or is that indicative of something bad? Like many seniors, I am careful where I put my feet these days, and while we don't have the curse of icy surfaces out here, we do have uneven and rocky ground which can cause a stumble which can result in injury.

Balancing reasonable care with unsubstantiated fear is sometimes challenging for me. While we never know just when our number will turn up, it is a terrible thing to live a fearful life, afraid of some accident or illness that will end in our death. None of us is going to make it out of here alive, I understand that. But I also am not ready to let go of this wildly beautiful, unpredictable experience called life. So I try to stay healthy, go for checkups, eat healthy foods (with daily treats, but not big, horrible, heart-attack-on-a-plate ones), and move this body in some kind of exercise every day, even if it is just parking the car a bit further from the grocery store doors for more of a walk. I want time, more time, with my honey, with my kitties. More time to read and write and listen and watch and enjoy and be grateful. More time to expand my heart, to do things that bring me joy. And not to be overly anxious.

Love for others. I don't think any of my friends is going to call me a social butterfly. I am by nature an introvert, but I can function well in extrovert mode for a time (and then I want to come home, sit in my chair, sip tea, pet a cat, and think about the social experience I just had). I am a very loyal person: it takes some time to cultivate a friendship, a good friendship, but I don't let go of it either, sometimes holding onto it past the time to let it go. (That is unless I am lied to or given reason to distrust a person, and then we're done.)

Nonetheless, I have a handful of dear, trusted friends who I treasure deeply, even those I don't get to see face-to-face very often. I have more acquaintances, people who I know and like, but we haven't grown to be close yet, or maybe never; but just a few truly close friends.

I wasdeeply touched and humbled during my surgical recovery time last year by the friends who brought meals, who sent cards or called, who sat with Tony in the waiting room, who visited me at home while I was non-weight-bearing and pretty much confined to home. I felt blessed and grateful that they cared enough to help, and came away resolved to offer help to others, although I don't know that I've done a very good job of that this year.

Likewise, I was humbled and oh so grateful to the friends who found household things to give to R just recently as she moved into a new place following a horrific domestic abuse and violence experience, where she just left one day with a suitcase and her cats, leaving furniture, treasures, clothing, and household furnishings behind. Within a week she was in a safe place and had everything she needed, and we found thrifted, nice furniture for amazingly low prices too. That these generous friends responded so quickly and lovingly was yet another sign for me that angels are indeed among us, and that I am blessed to know several of them.

I understand more now how rare this kind of friendship is, how much effort it takes from both people to grow it, and how much it can mean as we age. More of that, please: a challenge for myself.

Love for oneself.  Perhaps this is the hardest of all: to love who we are, warts and all, insecurities, ugly thoughts, body and personality flaws, and all the negative thinking that accompanies it. While I am never going to be thin, an executive career woman, rich, stylish, a tireless volunteer for good causes, or even a best-selling writer or actress or speaker, I am still a person worthy of love and beauty and kindness. I forgive myself for things in my past, some of which only I still remember. I forgive myself for not being perfect. I forgive myself for unkindness -- which also extends to me -- and resolve to keep kindness in my thoughts and words, despite the sometimes overwhelming urge to be sarcastic and snippy and negative just because I am good at it.

As I age, I want to be positive-thinking, generous in spirit, and most of all, kind. A kind word can mean more than its speaker can ever imagine. I want to make this my daily spiritual practice: kindness both to myself and to others.

But likewise, I want to give myself permission to walk away from negative people and situations, from people or situations who make the hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up, from anything that makes the little alarm bells go off in my head and in my gut. Without apology. Without regret. Just walk away.

This life is too short  to do things that make me feel compromised or unsettled or to be with people who don't like me and who make me question things I know to be true. No more. Not now, not ever.

I am worth kindness. I am worth love and self-respect. I am a good, ethical person. And I do not need to compromise who I am for anyone.

This is true heart. This is being true to my heart and my soul.

Another reason why I MUST vote for Obama

I have been absolutely baffled for some time why any woman, especially one who is educated and smart and knows exactly who she is, one who has full control of her own power, would possibly vote for a Republican.

A pair of wanna-be Senators in two states I've actually been residents of have embarrassed not only the Republican party leaders -- at least briefly -- by their comments about women, but have also shown themselves to be ignorant and very misogynistic.

This general disdain for women and their ability (or right?) to make health choices FOR THEMSELVES is rooted firmly in the language in the official Republican Party platform, 

The official platform does NOT provide exceptions to abortion for anything, including rape, incest, or life of the mother. Read it.

Furthermore, the platform says it wants to teach abstinence in school. ONLY abstinence. "Therefore, we support doubling abstinence education funding. We oppose school-based clinics that provide referrals, counseling, and related services for contraception and abortion. "

Uh huh. You try that with teenagers who are bombarded today with sex, sex, sex in today's music and fashions and role models. You try that when the kids have relatives and friends who have affairs and one-night-stands right in their own homes as a matter of course.

It's a nice theory. But it doesn't work. It didn't work when I was a teenager back in the 1960s either.  Ask the teachers and social workers and counselors and specialists in our schools who work daily with at-risk teens. (I'm not even sure if sex education is part of today's curriculum!)

The Republicans also want to defund Planned Parenthood, even though the organization which provides valuable medical testing and contraceptive services to underserved and poor women does not use any federal funds to provide abortion. 

...Yeah. Let's go back to the good ol' coat hanger abortion days, and limit access to birth control so that women will stay home and stay pregnant whether they want to or not...

And while they're on the 'put the little woman back in her place' kick, the Repubs put the Violence Against Women Act into limbo this year, an act which since 1994 has provided  " investigation and prosecution of violent crimes against women, imposed automatic and mandatory restitution on those convicted, and allowed civil redress in cases prosecutors chose to leave unprosecuted "(Wikipedia) They don't want to extend any sort of protection to  gays, lesbians, American Indians, or illegal immigrants who are victims of domestic violence.

Missouri Senatorial candidate Todd Akin nearly offed himself back in August with his comments about 'legitimate rape,' prompting Republicans leaders to distance themselves from him immediately. Akin refused to step down, though, and the Repub moneymen have slowly crept back into his camp. He continues to belittle his rival Claire McCaskill, recently likening her to a dog, and calling her 'unladylike.'

And now Indiana Senatorial candidate Richard Mourdock is claiming that a pregnancy resulting from rape is 'a gift from God' and that it is 'meant to be.' And what the bloody hell would HE know about it?

Seriously. You must bring a child of rape to term and you must look at your rapist's face in that child every single day because God meant it to be? What about the child's right to be loved? Pro-birth is NOT pro-life.

How can a person actually diminish, -- negate -- so callously and calculatedly the horribly invasive, violent rape of any woman?

And do you really want someone who can say that in all sincerity to represent your vote, your city and county and state?

The Republicans have this last season in Congress, especially, repeatedly and publicly tried to erode women's rights to control their own healthcare choices and to refuse equal pay for equal work and to deny gays, lesbians, American Indians or illegal immigrants the right to seek recourse for domestic violence. They will continue to drive this agenda.

And I just do not understand how this country's women, no matter their political leanings, can throw their sisters under the GOP bus by supporting and voting for ANY Tea Party or Republican candidate, from the Presidential candidate on down.

If you do, please don't call me your sister. I will continue to defend your right to make your own healthcare and reproductive choices despite your vote because I believe so strongly in that right.

But I know you would not do the same for me because of your Republican/Tea Party vote. You will destroy any trust I had in you, any semblance of sisterhood, by your actions.

Saying one thing and doing another

I was raised in the United Methodist church by parents who very much lived their faith and values, and who taught my brother and me to do the same. Questioning and discussion was certainly permitted, even encouraged, and we had many lively conversations over the years about faith and action and beliefs.

As a college student, I took required religion courses at my church-related college, and studied not only the Bible, but many theologians. Again, discussion was encouraged by my professors.

Over the years I've attended and been active in various United Methodist churches and an active participant in many social justice issues and on various boards and committees, many of them ecumenical.  I know a fair amount about many other churches, denominations, and religions.

I'm no longer involved in a church. But I am a spiritual person. I have a strong moral code and beliefs that have evolved from my earliest experiences with the church. I try to live my faith and my values, and I believe in God, in a Higher Power.

But I am just absolutely baffled by those who call themselves conservative Christians but whose actions are anything but reflective of what Jesus taught us about God and about forgiveness and tolerance and love.

I don't understand how a person can pepper a Facebook page with proclamations of God's love and "Praise Jesus" and then on the same page, even the same day, post or re-post vicious condemnations of gays and lesbians, of Jews and blacks and Catholics and Mormons and Muslims. Attack our president for his support of marriage for gay people as well as heterosexuals. Declare that women are not capable of making their own reproductive choices for any reason, but some man knows better than they do and will make it for them!

I don't understand how on the one hand they can pray to Jesus to sell their house or get a new job or a new car or help them through a divorce or a custody battle or other of life's difficult times, and on the other proclaim that everyone who is on disability or who receives welfare benefits is a drug addict or lazy, fat, freeloader.

Or how they can love Jesus soooo much but not forgive someone who hurt them in the past or even to consider that perhaps that person has changed. Or to bear a grudge that is rooted in something that happened decades ago. Shun a person who they believe has wronged them, without explanation, without discussion or even attempts at reconciliation. But Jesus can heal all, Jesus will save us, Jesus forgives our sins? Huh?

Or somehow rationalize that it is all right to kill a doctor who performs abortions, safe and legal abortions, and to condemn those women who might seek one for any reason as 'babykillers.' How does that make sense? How does that demonstrate love and compassion?

This is not the Christianity I was raised with.

Instead, Christianity today seems to be increasingly populated with those claiming to be 'good' Christian people who advocate -- or at the least turn a blind eye to violence, discrimination, anti-Semitism, and prejudice. They are anti-gay, anti-women, anti-immigrant, anti-Jew, anti-black, anti-poverty. They consider their brand of Christianity to be the ONLY way, and if you don't believe as they do, you are clearly going to hell, and might even deserve to be punished, if not outright murdered.

Jesus was a Jew. He hung out with former prostitutes, tax collectors, thieves, the poor, the mentally ill, the crippled, the unpopular people. He taught tolerance and caring and compassion for everyone. He taught that loving others as much as we love ourselves is the right way to live. 

I'm not seeing it. Not by those who pray the loudest anyway. 

What are we doing to our country?

Members of the Westboro Baptist Church have waved their horrible picket signs at military funerals as well as other funerals for some time, trying, they say, to send the message that God is angry with the United States because of increasing acceptance of homosexuality.

Their Web page is filled with vile language and hatred: not the God in whom I was raised to believe.

And next fall the Supreme Court is actually going to consider a case about their rights to picket military funerals.

Where is compassion? Empathy? Respect for a soldier serving our country?

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Conservatives are rallying en masse against the healthcare reform bill, calling it full of socialism, communism, and insisting the President and supporters are 'ramming' it down the throats of the people. ( Never mind that BOTH houses of Congress have already passed a healthcare reform bill. They're now voting on the compromise.)

What do they think Medicare is? Social Security? Who do they think REALLY controls healthcare in the US? We sure don't control what kind of care we get, nor what we pay for that insurance -- that is, if we can get it at all.

In California, more than 8 million people are without insurance. Know what happens when they finally have to visit the emergency room because they are too sick not to? We insured pay in increased insurance premiums as well as through increased hospital and physician costs.

Congress doesn't care, folks. They get great insurance, guaranteed, no waiting period or pesky pre-existing condition requirements, and we're paying for most of it. See what they get? And they're also getting some great perks and job offers from the health insurance companies who are lobbying so heavily against healthcare reform.

Where is compassion? Where is empathy? How can this happen in our country -- people dying because they can't afford healthcare? Isn't that what happens in third-world countries? Surely not in the United States! (think again)

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Education budget cuts across the country are causing thousands of teacher layoffs and program cuts. There are many schools who have few or no arts programs because they can't afford it and haven't been able to for years. Sports programs -- at least in sports other than football -- have been cut. Diversity in education is waning. In my town, our adult education program is being eliminated -- no more computer classes or GED classes.

So we have another group unemployed and searching for non-existent jobs.

But who suffers? Our kids. Our future. Their future.

And history is being rewritten anyway, at least in Texas, and because they are the country's largest purchaser of textbooks, their decisions will eventually affect the rest of our country's curriculum.

In 50 years, we may not even acknowledge that the Holocaust happened, if the conservatives have their way, not to mention evolution. If it even takes THAT long.

What is happening to our country?

It scares me. And my only consolation, honestly, is that I am 62, and likely will not live long enough to see the full effects of the hatred, twisted unethical actions, and poor, inadequate and misleading education. Unfortunately my daughters probably will.

I am also beginning to understand why I've always seen so many grey heads among the politically active. Mine may soon be one of them.

Whose life is more valuable?

I seldom wax political on these pages, although if you browse a bit through past posts you'll find a few. There are others who relish the flapping of the red cape at the bull far more than I.

But the recent murder of George Tiller as he was ushering during a church service got to me. He was cold-bloodedly murdered because he performed late-term abortions in his Kansas clinic. Despite other attempts to shut the clinic down and intimidate both the doctor and his staff, Tiller kept it open to help the desperate women from around the world who seek the procedure.

Reasons for late-term abortions are usually because of some horrible genetic problem in the fetus, and they are rare. More than 90 percent of the abortions performed in the US are first trimester. The decision to have an abortion after that is not easy, nor is it simple to find a facility.

There are many well-known columnists who have opined about the killing, including Ellen Goodman, Deborah King on the Huffington Post, even Time Magazine. As always in abortion-related violence and acts of terrorism against providers and even clients, the pro-life folks are claiming shock at the act, saying that there are other ways to bring providers to justice. But one must wonder if there isn't also some jumping up and down with glee.

I'm not expressing anything new here. Simply put, I am completely baffled by how such an act of violence and murder can be justified by anyone, most especially by groups who claim that ending a pregnancy for any reason, including to save the life of the mother, is wrong. Period.

I do not understand how to justify putting an unborn fetus first in the life of a family -- a mother, certainly, a father, perhaps other children, an extended family -- over the health of either the mother or the fetus, over economic hardship caused to all as a result of a gravely impaired fetus, over certain extensive medical expenses, and over the grief and pain and suffering of all, including what would be a drastically handicapped infant.

Do the other lives then count for nothing? Once born, are we then disposable? Are our lives useful only to the extent that we become incubators for fetuses, no matter how handicapped or how grave a prognosis there might be for it if carried to term? What of the existing lives of the mother, the other children? Are they inconsequential when measured against the life of one yet unborn?

If life is sacred, how does one equivocate the existence of a fetus with the life of a person? Which is the more valuable? And who makes that call?

Pro-choice does not mean proabortion. I have actively been prochoice for years, marching in picket lines, testifying before a state legislature, even lobbying on Capital Hill. Long ago in Missouri, I represented the prochoice viewpoints of various Christian denominations to legislators, voters, and the public. Does that mean I favor abortion? No. Nor did anyone with whom I worked or met during that time.

Tiller provided a compassionate, legal service to desperate women and their families, one which he knew was risky at the least. That he would be gunned down during his own time of worship is -- indeed, MUST be -- intolerable to anyone who believes in love, who believes in a compassionate, caring God, and who values all life.

Be careful what you sow

Every once in a while a story circulates on e-mail that bears forwarding or repeating. This is one of them that struck a chord with me this morning, especially since an encounter a couple of days ago with a particularly unpleasant, angry, abrasive, hypcritical person who was determined to firmly establish his vastly superior intelligence and training both to me and to a colleague.

I did not and will not respond in kind, because I know that when you wrestle with pigs, you get dirty and smelly and the pigs love it. And it is a no-win situation.

But this e-mail reminded me of my core beliefs: what you put into life is what you get out of it. (Incidentally, this blog gets many referrals because of people searching on that phrase: it is a recurring theme in these many posts.)

May you find what you seek today!


The Seed

A successful businessman was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, like the others received a seed. He went home and excitedly told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Every day, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - he so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot.

But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach: it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right.

He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"

When the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot, he ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed, so Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim!"

Jim couldn't believe it -- he couldn't even grow his seed.

"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds;
they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends

* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness

* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment

* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective

* If you plant hard work, you will reap success

* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation

* If you plant faith in God, you will reap a harvest

So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later. Whatever you give to life, life gives you back.

Fire strikes -- and so do looters

The Humboldt Fire started near Chico, where Tony works, last Wednesday and many of his company's employees had to evacuate their homes near Paradise.

It has been devastating to watch the news, see the map, and read the comments by worried friends and family. Our home is 50 miles to the north and west, so we were not threatened by this one. But everyone who lives in California fears wildfires, as well they should.

There were 74 homes destroyed by this fire; cause at this point unknown. Thousands of firefighters from throughout California assisted the battle to contain it. Hundreds of people were evacuated and sheltered and fed by volunteers and good people.

And last night on the news there was this report about looters. Today, Tony discovered that one of his colleagues was a victim, and that his insurance company only covers $5K caused by theft. The guy -- a young man with a family -- did not lose his home to fire, but lost its contents to thieves who took advantage of his absence and stole everything: tools, toys -- everything.

How do people lose ethics? Did they never have them in the first place? What corrupts a person, causes them to compound a terrible event into an even more incomprehensible act?

Tony's colleague did not realize that others had also been looted, so he perhaps can find some company with his misery, and perhaps they all can work towards a solution, towards regaining some of the stolen merchandise.

I'm 60 years old. And I don't think I'm particularly naive. But this just blows me away -- sort of like the guy I wrote about a few days ago baffles me with his nastiness and mean spirit -- only these thieves are even lower than that on the ethics and decency scale. They kicked people when they were down, walked away and left them gasping. And didn't look back. That is the true tragedy in this.

Deja vu (all over again)*

Another meeting this weekend was cause for serious deja-vu, and more bewilderment about ethics, moral codes, and people's behavior. While not a general meeting, this was a neighborhood board meeting, one of several throughout the year which I and others have been attending just to keep an eye on how business is being conducted.

The deja-vu came when the players mentioned here pretty much reprised their behavior of last fall. The six of us who came as interested parties were threatened with the sheriff -- the host and leader said that he had the right to throw any of us who disrupted the meeting off his property. At least two of us were ridiculed, insulted, and subjected to character assassination, including private business that had no place being aired at that meeting or any other.

I simply do not understand how a person can be so filled with anger and hatred that nothing but venom comes out of his mouth. I have never heard this person say anything positive about anything, and he obviously takes pleasure out of pushing other people's buttons, especially personal ones, and watching them react, and in being just as ugly and mean and nasty as you can imagine a person could be.

It's clearly a power thing -- he throws out a personal attack, and watches as that person reacts -- usually in anger and frustration and embarrassment. And he smiles. I watched him do it.

What could have twisted this man so deeply that he takes such pleasure out of causing others pain and humiliation? According to those who have lived here as long as he has, he has always been this way (and he's no spring chicken).

After last fall's meeting, I said that I was done wasting major time on minor people, and by golly, I have pretty much done that. I did not allow this man and his horrible comments to affect the rest of my day, nor to ruin my sleep. Except for a few moments when my honey was expressing his opinion and things got tense and my tummy sort of turned over, I have been pretty sanguine about it.

As writer Kim Antieau said today, you can change light bulbs, but you can't change people.

I have reflected a bit on his nature and on how bleak such a life must be to live. I know that the good thing to do is to say a prayer for him. But I simply do not understand at all how there can be a moral code by which such people live -- how do they even live with themselves? How could you find anything good or decent or loving in the world when you are so filled with anger and hatred, and behave in such an immoral way?

You either have morals or you don't. I think they're learned at a very early age, and I believe there are people who have none, who live only by a "do unto others before they do unto you" code. What a bleak existence.

The ultimate insult to these people is to be ignored and dismissed. And that's how I've begun to handle it. If I don't fuel their passion through my own response, they get no pleasure (although what masters of manipulation! They will stop at nothing to evoke a response, any response, and it is so difficult not to respond when your words are being twisted, you are being slandered, and your character is defamed so publicly, and of course you want badly to deny the lies.)

Next meeting is September. We'll see how I do.

*from Yogi Berra, who also coined such twists of the language as these. Scary that some of them actually make sense.

Rain! and the Wheel turns again

It's 57 degrees and drizzling (with puddles on the ground and sidewalks), and tomorrow is the first day of fall! A wonderful way to welcome this change of seasons.

Actually, we'll be back in late summer this coming week with temps near 90 -- but for now, the long sleeves and long pants feel good, and I'm looking forward to a cozy evening of movies and hot stew and biscuits dripping with butter and honey. I like cool weather.

Neighborhood update: the *new* board members sent out minutes of last week's meeting and a dues increase ballot revised from one that passed a month ago because the wording wasn't accurate, apparently. I have questions: the measure upon which we're voting passed a month ago. While this one is being taken to correct the wording, what happens if it doesn't pass? (I suspect this one is the only binding one...) And the minutes were inaccurate: they do not report a measure that was passed (voted on at the meeting), recording it there merely as a "recommendation."

Of course I have other issues with the minutes, but mostly because they don't reflect the true nature of the meeting. I suspect I'm not alone in that. The plot thickens.

Family: My brother and sister-in-law were here for far too short a time, and we just had a wonderful visit. I took them downtown to visit a couple of shops, we ate lunch at the new Thai House that's recently changed ownership (wonderful food!), and then drove up to Lassen.

I love love love the smell of the pines in the high elevations, and the sky was bright blue. Temperatures were moderate -- we did not need the jackets we'd taken -- and while it was hazy when you looked out across the mountains, it was beautiful up there. Lassen had gotten some snow the other day, although it remained mostly in small patches, but it was clean and white, and I'll betcha they got a bunch more today.

The one disappointment is that the boardwalk at the Sulphurworks has been dismantled, so you can't see the bubbling hot springs and mud holes. The two big ones by the road were busily churning, one so audibly that it sounded like a big washing machine, but they weren't spitting yesterday, just steaming. Both of them really enjoyed seeing "things we haven't seen before," as Jimmy put it, and then we wound up at the Sundial Bridge.

They left this morning for business in the Bay Area, after we enjoyed our ritual family wild-rice-and-bacon-and-Jule-Kage breakfast, and I got a little teary. I am very grateful to have such a great relationship with my brother and sister-in-law -- it is good to have family who loves you, warts and all.

Blessed equinox to you as we enter the dark months. The wheel turns...day and night are equal briefly....and we reap what we have sown over the year during this season. It is the great harvest time, this change. May yours be bountiful to last you through the coming winter.

Behaving ethically

I was abruptly reminded today that age and experience do not necessarily render a person either wiser or kinder. And in fact, in this case, I suspect that age and experience have probably rendered at least one man even nastier and more devious -- and I seriously doubt that he ever acted kindly toward anyone, including his family.

The unpleasant encounters came at a neighborhood meeting that was dominated by one man -- not the titular president, who himself showed an ugly, very autocratic face -- who somehow had buffaloed and bullied a majority of those present into supporting him and his agenda. While I know only a few of those present very well, and some not at all, I was simply floored by the overall meek acceptance as gospel truth of the vitriol this man was spouting.

It wasn't even that his proposals had no merit -- there was at least one that was fair and rational. But the way he had ramrodded it through a vote included out-and-out lying and slandering the characters and actions of two volunteers. At one point he boldly admitted in front of the whole group, "I lied." He nominated himself for election to an office, and when confronted with the fact that he had agreed not to seek a position again, declared that he would not leave the board.

And the group sat there, eating brownies and drinking soda, in tacit acceptance of his dismissive, disrespectful, and admittedly unethical behavior. And elected him.

The other man, also on the board and who also had agreed not to seek re-election, also admitted he'd lied, and publicly declared himself to be the sole authority on any road or road-frontage issues in the entire neighborhood, challenging one respectful objector to "Sue me."

And the group sat there. And a few expressed appreciation for his dedication. And stuffed their faces. And elected him too.

Both men were publicly abrasive toward others in the group, most especially and maliciously towards the two volunteers who were not present, and to the handful who raised objections or asked questions about process or decisions made during the year.

It turned ugly. There were raised voices. There were accusations and obscenities flung by several parties, but most clearly by the two liars who had just been again elected to office.

And most of the group just sat there, eating brownies and drinking soda, and saying nothing. Baaaaaa...

I'll confess that I was one of the objectors, and that I threw out a few zingers too. Although I'm generally very slow to anger, I hate lying above nearly anything -- save abuse of animals and people -- and I knew FOR A FACT that both men were lying about far more than they'd publicly admitted. I was shocked that they had managed to so thoroughly convince a group of individuals I'd thought had some intelligence to believe falsehoods and fabrications in order to achieve their self-serving goals.

And I was -- and am -- once again disillusioned and disgusted that unethical, dishonest, mean-spirited, downright nasty actions have been accepted as reasonable and tolerable behavior. It's not the first time I've seen this in the past few years, but it hasn't hit quite as close to home as it did today.

I continue to believe in right speech, right actions, right thought, right intention, right livelihood, right effort and right mindfulness as a way of life. I believe in the Golden Rule: treat others as you would like to be treated -- as a guiding ethic of life. I don't believe any of us are exempt from those moral principles, and I believe in karma: that what goes around comes around.

I just want to be there to see it. Okay, I work on that...

It was not a fun day. It's probably not over, either, because I believe there will be repercussions from today's actions. But I'm done. I will not waste major time on minor people. I have more interesting, more important things in my life. Thanks be.