#Reverb 14, Day 29

Day in the life: Describe a typical day-in-the-life.  Give us details!  Give us pictures!  Sometimes our days can seem boring.  Is that okay?  What do you do to make your days feel a bit special?

 Oh, how retirement changes day-to-day life!

Tony almost always gets up before I do. I snuggle back down in the covers and snooze, awakening usually between 8 and 8:30 (unless I didn't sleep well, in which case it could be an hour later). Sweats and slippers on. Flip on lights on the plant shelf (where my angels sit); open great room blinds,  and I'm ready for a cup of tea (sometimes decaf coffee). Teabag in the tall St. Elizabeth Hospital cup, cup under the Keurig dispenser (hot water). Sit in my green leather chair with my iPad. McMurphy leaps to the arm of the chair, his butt barely missing the cup of hot tea, and into my lap, where he insists on snuggling, stretching out long paws to push away the iPad. I comply. Sort of, anyway, holding the iPad at an awkward angle so I can cuddle the cat too.

Tony is in the office and comes into the kitchen anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes later, always coming over to my chair, leaning down, and giving me a kiss or three. (*lucky girl* aren't I) And then he goes to the kitchen to fix breakfast -- alternating cereal (hot or cold, depending on the season) or eggs. (ditto that *lucky girl* thing)

"It's ready," he'll say. I put down the iPad and come to the table, where I dispense vitamins, we enjoy breakfast and bird watching since he's already replenished the feeders tjhat hang outside the sliding door by the table. We clear the dishes; then sit back down and read aloud, taking turns with each book, from the two books we've chosen for the year's morning readings. 

From there, depending on what's on the calendar for that day, I may go back to my chair with a second cup and browse through email and Facebook and blogs for another hour. Or I may go back to the bathroom, pausing to make the bed, and get showered and ready for what's on the agenda.

{{{Day goes along -- maybe a trip to town, to an appointment, to lunch -- maybe a movie together or a day trip or errands or grocery store. Maybe some laundry. Or cleaning. Or writing. Or reading. Lunch happens, usually together, unless I've got a lunch date. Or we decide to combine errands and lunch. Or I bring home a sandwich. We will be adding regular exercise to this timeline in 2015, either at home or at the gym. }}

Around 5 p.m., the TV news usually goes on and I begin puttering in the kitchen in preparation for supper. We generally eat between 6:30 and 7, sometimes lingering for half an hour if we're deep into a conversation. I clear the table, he does the dishes, I feed the cats, and we're ready for an evening of TV -- unless I still need to do the daily email I write to a small group of family and friends (a bit of nothing much -- what I did, what's going on with the weather, maybe a commentary about the state of life or something newsworthy, and a quotation that either reflects how I'm feeling or is something I think one of the recipients should hear), which takes maybe 20 minutes. 

We are such creatures of habit. We record a number of TV series and movies, and most always have a discussion that goes something like: "What do you feel like?" "I dunno. What do you want to watch?" "Oh, I could be up for most anything." (or, alternatively, "I don't feel much like a movie...I want something light and fluffy....I dunno.") Eventually we either take turns narrowing the choices ("Uh, Person of Interest, Agents of Shield, or Divergent.") or I just click on something (I nearly always am the mighty ruler of the TV control.)

Unless it is a movie, we do that again in the hour it takes to watch a series. I know. It's SO co-dependent. We know it too.

The exceptions are when we have both Showtime and HBO favorite Sunday night series to choose from, and we know we'll get to at least two of them, so it rarely makes a difference which we do first. And  Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder, in that order, don't need conversation to choose either. 

News at 10, and it's off. Tony goes back to the office for a last bit of computering; I usually play a game or two on the iPad, and then I'm off to get ready for bed and reading my Kindle. He'll come in, both cats leading the way, in half an hour, snuggle down, and is usually asleep quickly. I read for maybe an hour, and then it's lights out for me too, and hopefully to sleep (perchance to dream....)

Boring?
I suppose it could seem that way. It doesn't feel boring, however.

We prefer to think of our days as drama-free. We like our little routines and rituals, and even when we're traveling in Sallie Forth (our travel trailer), we follow pretty much this process.

I like waking to the same routine every day. It puts a structure, a beginning that is predictable and comforting, to another lovely day. 

Every day that we are together and feeling good, every day that allows us to control what we do and when we do it is a special day. We don't need excitement and drama and lots of socialization to feel satisfied and happy with our days, and neither of us needs to be entertained or kept busy, since we are both exceptionally self-directed with our activities and interests. If there is a downside to this, it is that we ARE such compatible creatures and enjoy our routines, and sometimes need to shake things up a bit, to change what we are doing to promote better, healthier habits. 

Life is so good, folks. We are so, so blessed. 

 

 

Same old, same old ... sorta

I'm still spending a lot of time reading with my foot up, but last week I graduated to a cam walker boot and am now lurching from room to room using a walker.

Nothing like a walker tricked out with a basket in front and glides on the rear legs to make you feel old.

But it helps me with balance and to ease the stress of putting weight on a foot that's been screwed and glued back together, and that hasn't had weight on it for two months. The leg looks better than it did a week ago, when it was all flakey skin and emaciated muscle and bloody steristrips, but bearing weight causes some redness and swelling -- something the doc said is needed for the bone to heal well -- and some discomfort -- even downright pain, especially on the side and heel. Tylenol takes care of it pretty well.

I don't know how long I'll be in it, but suspect it'll be at least another two or three weeks minimum. I'm most afraid of falls at this point, so am very careful where I put my feet.

We take a lot for granted when we're younger, don't we -- skipping about on heels and flimsy sandals, thinking little about walking in fashionable boots on icy sidewalks, going barefooted outside and in. Time was when I jumped rope and skipped and danced and tromped around on uneven rocks and ground, generally fearless. No more, although I'm not quite sure when that left me. I suppose that's another sign of aging, that awareness of how damaging a fall can be.

At any rate, I'm in another phase of healing, and still am grateful for how well the foot has healed, how little desire I have to resume life as I was living it before the surgery, and how free I am feeling to do things that I want to do, like reading and watching movies. I still feel very positive about the outcome and am grateful to all the friends who have helped us in this process.

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So I'm still reading. Lots of beach-type reading, actually -- nothing in this group would classify as literary fiction. Most were either free or under $3. The Kindle Deal of the Day can be pretty good, as can the list of top Kindle books under $3 or the top 100 free books.

The Witch's Daughter was not as good as I'd have liked it to be. It switches back and forth from present day to the character's past, and I could easily put it down. (A 2.99 pricetag when I bought it.)

The Rose Garden was also fairly predictable, although mostly entertaining. Some time travel in this one, but not a compelling read. (99 cents when i got it.)

The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane was a bit more engrossing and included a bunch of Salem witch trial history. Price was definitely right at $2.99.

The Fortune Quilt was sort of fun, and it was a Kindle freebie at the time. (Kindle owning friends -- I can lend this one. Let me know.) I liked  the vivid descriptions of the little Arizona town and some of the plot twists.

Firefly Beach was iffy. I know it had a lot of favorable reviews, but I thought it was too heavy on the narrative and rather stilted on the slightly paranormal aspect. The time frame was unrealistic and many plot elements stretched belief to the point of breaking. I can lend it, but am glad it was on the free list and that I didn't pay for it.

The Blue Tail (a gift) and The Fish Wife (lent to me) were both paperback books, and I just loved them. The Blue Tail includes poetry by Mary Oliver and is set mostly in Bandon, Oregon -- one of my favorite coastal places -- and is about a teenager understanding and accepting her heritage and worth. What was not to love!

 The Fish Wife is a fantasy-filled story that takes the reader from misty Ireland to the desert Southwest, and enchantingly fills in the story of the Old Mermaids in the desert. It was a quick read and lovely. The author has a great ear for dialogue and I loved that I could 'hear' the characters tell the story.

I've got several other freebies loaded on the Kindle, and am reading one now that was recommended to me by a blog reader: The Accidental Peacemaker. Being the bargain hunger that I am (and realizing that not only is this a first-time novelist, the book is also self-published), I could not see paying $10, but I was able to use the Amazon Prime Library to borrow it!

It's kind of all over the place with a LOT of detailed location description (I could drive to most places mentioned from the directions), a plot that is interesting but that goes into a lot of directions: is it an action thriller about local militias and Muslim training camps? A romance between middle-aged people? A finding-oneself introspective novel? A guide to fishing in Oregon? A self-help how-to book on meditation? Huh. I'm still reading it but have NO idea where it's going.

I'll give you the lowdown when I'm finished with it.

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I'm also sort of doing an e-class on being a Spiritual Nomad. Sort of, because I'm not actually DOING a lot of the exercises, although I'm THINKING them through and that in itself is an interesting process. Tony and I have talked through some of the projects too, which has made for some good conversation. I understand how I got to where I am spiritually (at least better) and the influences on my spiritual life, and even did a Guru board on Pinterest, which was sort of fun and revealing. I suspect I'll come back to some of the lessons and contemplate or even perform some of the tasks a little more thoroughly.

What I'm understanding, though, is what I pretty much knew: I miss having a community of like-minded people to interact with on a regular basis, to celebrate ritual events with, to sing and celebrate with. My beliefs are not easily categorized into a denomination or even a 'religion,' but are based in a belief in a higher power and a strong ethical belief system.

It's been good for me, though, and it fits with all the gratitude and energy work I've been doing. Cultivating that positive outlook and enjoying where I am is a huge gift.

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Movies and television! We've seen a bunch over the last two-plus months. Just watched the Showtime documentary "History of the Eagles,' about the 1970s-present day band, and loved seeing how they evolved and changed, and hearing the music again.  Loved 'The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel' with an older ensemble cast. I've seen several unremarkable ones that were fun and entertaining but nothing I'd go out of my way to see, too. We continue to enjoy several regular series, including Enlightened, Californication (!!!), Shameless, and House of Lies currently on HBO and Showtime, and Person of Interest and Scandal on network TV. I also watch Grey's Anatomy, Smash, The New Normal, and Monday Mornings, and try to catch Glee (although this year has been disappointing). We've sampled The Americans (still evaluating), The Following, and Banshee (and removed those two from our list). With TV schedules bringing in new shows far more often, that list will change over the next few months, I'm sure.

And that's where I am.

Rediscovering the power in a good book

The last time I spent hours and hours reading was when we rented a house on the Oregon coast in the fall of 2011 and it rained for three days. I started Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series that week and read my way through at least two of the 1000+ word tomes (on Kindle so I didn't boink myself when I fell asleep at night!) during that lovely time away.

Since I'm in full rest and recovery mode, meaning that I need to spend time with my leg elevated, and am fair-to-middling useless when it comes to doing regular chores or running around these days, I have been reading. Yeah, messing around on Facebook and reading blogs and email and so on, but reading honest-to-god books, some of which I found on the free or under $3.99 Kindle list, some of which have been kicking around my nightstand for months.

 I polished off Three Moons Over Sedona by Sherry Hartzler, one I'd gotten as a kindle freebie quite some time ago, in just a day or two, not reading constantly. It was entertaining enough to keep my interest, although fairly predictable and sometimes a little disconnected, but I liked reading about the area and the (again, fairly predictable) growth of the main character .It is not unlike something I have thought about writing, actually....

I've already mentioned Anne Lamott's Help. Thanks. Wow. which was NOT a freebie and indeed is MORE than the hardcover version. It was inspirational and touching and amazing, as I always find her writing.

I'm reading now The Blue Tail by Kim Antieau, in the soft cover version. It was a birthday gift from my lovely and literate friend Melissa, to whom I gave Antieau's Church of the Old Mermaids a few years ago and created a fan of Antieau's work and the mermaids. Antieau lives in Oregon and I've read her blog for several years.

But I've really been wrapped up in two books from the All Souls Trilogy by historian Deborah Harkness, starting with A Discovery of Witches (which was a deal of the day on Kindle several months ago), and then I just HAD to buy the second book, Shadow of Night. She's still writing the third book, blast-and-damn, but I'll snatch it as soon as it's published this year (just like I'm waiting for the eighth in the Outlander series, also to be published this year).

The trilogy is about a witch and a vampire who fall in love.

It is nothing.~~ NOTHING.~~ like Twilight or True Blood, neither of which I've read, but have only seen the movies and the TV series. (I heard such criticism of the Twilight books that I just haven't been interested, and I've found the movies fairly insipid; the Sookie Stackhouse books upon which True Blood is based may be better, but again -- not really interested.)

These two are scholars, educated and interesting, who have these, uh, big character differences. The books are chock-full of historical references (indeed, the second book contains a glossary of sorts that tells you which characters are historical) and detailed descriptions of places, including the Bodleian Library at Oxford University as well as Elizabethan England and Prague and France (in 1590). As a fan and long-time reader of historical fiction, at least some of it, I loved all the description and history.

The world that Harkness creates for her lovers begins in present day and goes back to the 16th century -- yes, there is time travel involved, which I also enjoy. There are four kinds of creatures inhabiting the world: humans, vampires, witches, and daemons, and the author vividly brings them to life with their character differences and flaws and misconceptions.

I had to pull myself out of the books, reluctantly closing my Kindle cover, to come to dinner. The device rode with me on my knee roller and even on my trips to the bathroom, I would pull it out of the little basket and read another few pages. And yet, I forcced myself to leave it alone to watch some television or to do some emails or to read a bit in a magazine or newspaper, simply because I didn't want it to be done, to have to read the last page, especially knowing that the third book isn't out yet! I wanted to savor the story longer, prolong the anticipation of finding out what happens next.

That's a good book, in my humble opinion, when you don't want it to end. (And that's one thing I adored about the Outlander books: there were SEVEN of them to read all in a row, long, long books full of places and history and adventure and great characters, which took me months to do...and then I dragged my feet through the last one, knowing it would be the better part of a year before the eighth book is out!)

So I'm onto the next -- right now The Blue Tail -- but followed soon by The Rose Garden by Susanna Kearsley (another Kindle bargain!) who has several other books. I've read good things about her writing and am looking forward to another good read.

I am loving all this reading, I'll be honest. While I always have a book or two and a magazine or three waiting for me, I haven't taken time to read during the day for a long time, saving it for bedtime (when I always read). These days I'm whipping through magazines almost as soon as they hit the mailbox, two newspapers, and also books. I will not give this up when I'm again two-legged and mobile -- another lesson I'm learning. I need to read. I have always been a reader. It's time now to indulge that more often and for a longer time.

Kindle owners -- or Kindle app readers -- see Kindle Deal of the Day.
See 100 Kindle books for under $3.99 here
There is also a Kindle blog.
Kindle apps for your iPad, your laptop or martphones are free. More info here.

Disclaimer: Don't get me wrong. I love paper and ink books and own many, but I love the Kindle and being able to take huge books with me in a tiny format, and also being able to read pretty much anything I want to read RIGHT NOW. Many of my paper books are going to be donated to our local Friends of the Library over the course of this year as I continue my quest to downsize and eliminate things I won't re-read or don't need or don't cherish.

Connecting to spirit

The energy work I've done/am doing in preparation and as post-operative treatment for my surgery is very spiritual for me, connecting to a Universal energy that thrums deep in the earth as well as in me.

The mountains that we see from our house remind me daily how powerful and all-encompassing that energy is. The trees, the birds, the red dirt, the greening of the meadows -- all these emphasize how energy is within us and all around us, and that it never, ever dies.

“Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.”― Albert Einstein

Tony and I have had many recent conversations about energy and how it works within us. We ARE energy. What is within us does not die when our body does, so where does it go? What does it become? I have always liked Emerson's 'Oversoul' essay which I read as a high school senior, and it still explains best for me what happens to our soul, our personal energy, when the body is no longer needed. For me, it explains the inter-connectedness of everything living. Perhaps it is simplistic, but it works for me, and I can feel the connection with those I love now as well as those whose bodies are no longer on this earth. 

I am learning to take in energy, to receive it from the earth and from crystals, and from the Universe, and to make it move within my body and limbs. 

And yes, I know how 'woo-woo' that sounds, and that others will have other explanations for it, something that fits within what they perceive as logical and reasonable and practical. 

Thankyouverymuch. *smile*

But for me it works, just what I'm doing and what I'm learning from my beautiful, practical, amazing teacher Jessie.

A Buddhist proverb says that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. While I have known Jessie for several years, and indeed have experienced her healing skills, this time I knew that I needed her, that the only way I was going to get through the fear and anxiety that was threatening to take over my entire life was through her help. She agreed immediately to be that healing help for me.

In the process of practicing the energy work and going within, I also have been doing a lot of reading, and just completed Anne Lamott's new little book Help.Thanks.Wow: The Three Essential Prayers .I've loved her conversational approach to spirituality for a long time and have several of her books on my bookshelf already. This one really speaks to where I am now and what I need, how I talk to the Universe/God(dess), and I savored each section. I'll re-read as necessary...

I haven't called myself 'religious' for a very long time, but have always known that there is a deep spiritual desire and connection within me. There are things I miss about the churches I grew up in and attended as an adult: the communal worship, a lot of the music (which transcends any religion and goes straight to God/Universe), and some of the church activities I was active in -- choir, suppers, events, etc. SOME of them. Not all. I do not miss the politics of a big church, nor the judgmental attitudes, nor the guilt that sometimes comes with participation and attendance. I would be interested in a community of like-minded people who are not necessarily tied to one particular denomination or even belief system, but who believe in right action, right speech, kindness, gratitude; who accept energy work and reiki and angels as a part of the work we are all here to do, here to find and to share.  

I am so grateful to the people who have helped me come this far, and I embrace this journey here and now. I am beginning to be aware that this surgery on my foot was necessary, not just to fix my ability to walk, but for my ability to BE and to learn and to grow spiritually. Deep gratitude for you, my teachers, my friends and mentors. ~Blessings~

The Scintilla Project - Day 4

For Day 4: We'll go with door number 2. (A trip to Redding and assorted other things kept me from writing Monday.)

1. Talk about your childhood bedroom. Did you share? Slam the door? Let someone in you shouldn't have? Where did you hide things?

2. What does your everyday look like? Describe the scene of your happiest moment of every day.
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One of the joys of being retired (or on vacation) is not setting an alarm clock, at least most days. (If I have a 10 o'clock class or appointment, yeah, I set it for about 7:45 to allow myself time to get breakfast and shower, and not to be hurried about either.)

I am not a lark. I have NEVER been an early riser if I could choose. I do not sing cheerily in the mornings, engaging in light-hearted, amusing conversation, nor do I do tasks that require a great deal of mental focus and acuity, like, oh, math of any kind (not that I do much of that anyway).

As an employee, I used mornings to proofread documents or file papers. I did not write stories or work on ads. My creativity begins to wake up after 10, and is usually highest between 11 and 4, although I certainly can work late into the evening when necessary.

Nowadays, after breakfast is done and assuming I have a free morning, I head to the computer to read e-mail, browse blogs and Facebook, maybe putz online, checking out free Kindle downloads or what's on sale at my favorite shoe sites. Nothing that requires mental focus and acuity, y'see?

I'm responsible for grocery shopping and meal prep, so almost always in the back of my head, I'm figuring out what's on the menu for the day and how long it'll take to fix.

Usually Mondays are laundry days, fresh sheets and towels, and general tidying. Tuesdays and Thursdays are yoga classes, and I try to plans shopping trips, prescription runs and the like for those days since I'm in town anyway. Since I'm the representative payee for my daughter, I also try to fit in her shopping or bill-paying days then as well. That can eat up a big chunk of a day.

I am never without something that needs doing: closets or drawers or cabinets that need cleaning, R's bills to sort and pay and record, papers to be sorted and dealt with. (I am never done, either. And there's always the attic that MUST be dealt with before the weather gets hot: all those ancient papers and half-finished crafts and old suitcases.) Garden season is coming up, and I know I'll be spending time outside prepping the space, planting, weeding, watering. There are weeds to kill, fallen limbs and debris from the winds to pick up, meadow grass to trim back, a big burn pile. There's never a shortage of outside chores that need doing either, although I'm not always eager to get out there and do them. And yeah, I try to get on the treadmill and 'jiggler' at least several times a week, although my will is weak.

I read two newspapers most days, though, and because of the rising cost of newspapers and subsequent decrease in page count, that can take anywhere from 10 to 45 minutes. I love the feel of the newspaper in my hand, unlike my techie husband who prefers his news digitally, and as long as I can still subscribe to a print version, I'm likely to do so. We also get several magazines, and I'm likely to spend a little time reading through current issues. Although I love to read novels, I rarely do that during the day, saving that treat for bedtime. If I got involved in a novel, we'd be eating crackers and cheese for dinner and nothing else would happen.

Most evenings find us settled in front of the television, watching a pre-recorded episode of one of our favorite series, or perhaps a movie. I might knit while I'm watching; sometimes I skim through magazines that I've set aside.

Pretty boring, hm?

One thing I am *not* is super-involved in anything right now.  I've done that: off to meetings and gatherings and committees and rehearsals. I know something will eventually pique my interest enough to want to jump into it again and get passionate about a cause or an event or a program, but at this moment, I'm enjoying being a homebody, a bit of a slug.

Far and away my favorite moment of any given day is bedtime: both of us are snuggied down in the bed, either iPad or magazine in hand to read a bit, kitties starting to settle in their favorite places on our bed. Our little sound machine generates soothing ocean wave sounds; the bed is comfortable and warm, and the love of my life looks at me with his big brown eyes and tells me how much he loves me, adores me, cherishes me. And I smile back at him with my eyes, my mouth, my soul.

It just doesn't get better than that.

Rain on the way -- we hope!

Our weather is sharply colder tonight and a north wind is sending the outdoor kitties into corners to shelter from the wind. Nevermind that they have houses that are packed with blankets, foam rubber padding, purrpads, and doors that help keep the wind out. They'll go in, just not when I'm looking.

But we have for the first time in a couple of months the promise of rain for this week. Our favorite Old Forecaster says that our area will have 1-2 inches of the stuff by this time next week, and more in the surrounding area. Since our grass is once again brown and crispy, after a brief greening-up following early winter rains in October-November, that will be most welcome. Most necessary, if we're to escape serious fire threat this summer.

I'm good with this. There is little I love more than snuggling down with an afghan in front of our warm woodstove, kitties curled deep on their tuffets (really RustiesGranny pet beds, which they LOVE, thankyouverymuch Tamina!), a cup of hot tea and something good on television -- and Sunday night is a big one, with Shameless, House of Lies, Californication, Desperate Housewives, Once Upon a Time, and I forget what else. Not that we watch all of that in one evening. It's hard to remember not having a DVR. We seldom watch anything live anymore because it is so easy to record and watch at our convenience.

Our day has been so good: brunch with friends at our favorite Mexican restaurant and then we went to see "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" which was quite good even though we haven't yet read the books. Tonight it's hot beef stew for dinner and a quiet evening enjoying shows. Tomorrow we're back to work and chores.

One of the posts I've been thinking through is about writing, prompted by a question asked at yesterday's Writers Forum conference: Why do you write? What a provocative thought, actually -- and I'll write about that sometime this week.

Another question from the same event asked about the kind of books I like to read and also authors I admire. That, too, deserves more thought, and I'll share with you. Generally, our leaders told us, writers read what they want to write. And I'm not sure that I do. Hm.

Reverb 10 -- Achieving health

For Dec. 28 -- Achieve. What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

• Healthier. More balanced, both mentally and physically. Fewer pounds that I'm carrying around on my amazonian frame. Meeting those goals will take care of the niggling health concerns I have right now -- nothing big but with potential to turn into big if I don't take steps to minimize their effects.
  

I will feel more free, more relaxed, more in tune, without stiffness and discomfort when I move. I will like better the way I look in my clothes (and without them, for that matter)... I will not walk like an elderly person!

And I think that with that goal, my other hopes for 2011 will be more readily attained -- like writing my book. If I am in better shape physically, I will have more energy to put towards things I want to be doing.

To get there:
+At least 10 minutes a day on the treadmill
+Seek out a yoga class; maybe try Zumba: once a week minimum
+Stop thinking 'I can't' and start thinking 'I must': this is no longer optional behavior
+Cut out the candy. Not the one piece a day dark chocolate; the other stuff that makes its way into your cart at the store and that you nibble on the way home.
+Serve smaller portions than I think you want. Take home half of my restaurant meal.
+Drink water -- two glasses before each meal.
+For snackiness: some nuts, or celery or carrots or jicama with a little FF yogurt and dill dip
+Eat the ice cream at Tremont: once a month, not once a week
+Stretch for five minutes daily
+Read something I love besides when I'm ready for bed: a book, a magazine for 20-30 minutes. Yes, I CAN take the time to treat myself to this activity that I so enjoy.

Reverb 10 -- feeling alive!

Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

What came first to mind was our vacation week in Brookings, Ore., in a charming house right where the Pacific and the Winchuck River meet. And in particular, the second full day of the week-long respite, when we woke to foggy skies and brisk, cool winds.

The great room of the one-bedroom house was all windows on the ocean end so we could see the driftwood-studded beach and the river mouth widen and narrow as the tides came in and out during the day. There were some 30 steps off the narrow back deck to the lower yard, which had tall trees, a lawn, and a short path out onto the beach, plus a fish-cleaning station and some of the ocean treasures others had brought from the sand -- buoys, shells, long driftwood poles, and an interesting assortment of oddly-shaped pieces of driftwood, for instance.

On this day we could barely see the beach. The ocean, of course, never ceases its wavery voice, first whooshing into the beach, then withdrawing with a sibilant purr. That was the constant background music for our whole week (and we slept with the sliding door and windows cracked so we could hear it all night long).

With the heat warming the room and lamps brightening corners, we ate a hot breakfast, then made a second pot of coffee. I snuggled into the chaise lounge part of the big, overstuffed sofa, afghan over my legs, and Tony settled in one of the big leather recliners with his laptop. And I cracked open a new book, The Help, and began reading.

Eventually I moved to another chair, propping my legs on the matching ottoman, because it had a better reading light. And read. All morning.

A quiet lunch, and I was back in the chair, this time with hot tea, and continued to read. All afternoon. I finished the book shortly before dusk: the fog never dissipated.

I don't remember the last time I just read a book all day long, blissfully lost in the word-created world. Occasionally I'd look at Tony, who was intent on reading news and blogs and video editing software, and sometimes he'd look back and me and we'd smile at each other, both of us utterly content to be exactly where we were, doing exactly what we were doing.

I have always, always been a reader. I'd read walking to or from school. I'd read in the bathroom. I figured out how to wash dishes with a book propped up in front of me. I'd read while drying my hair, while waiting in a line or for appointments; everywhere I went I had a book with me.

I've lost that in the busy-ness of the years and endless chores that need attention -- and there are always chores that need attention. Oh, I still read every day -- always the newspaper -- but usually a book only when I'm tucked into bed at night, before I turn out the light.

But I found it that day, again, that lovely soft grey day when there was nothing more important for me to do than sit there and just read. I found again the essence of who I am in that day and remembered how important it is for me to connect with my own story every day, to make time for that even with everything else beating on my door.

Days 26-30 -- Better late than never

While I did really well with the beginning of this meme, I've slipped on the job lately. I'm going to wrap this up as much as I can today, and will perhaps search for another such meme. It's been good to write most days -- well, the last week being a notable exception -- and I've enjoyed, mostly, the topic, although there were some questions that were a bit off-putting.

So to the end...


Day 26 – OMG WTF? OR most irritating/awful/annoying book ending
Actually the book I just finished, Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger (The Time Traveler's Wife) had an ending that was rather WTF.

I don't know that it was awful, mind you, but it felt abrupt. While it wound the story into some semblance of resolution in some respects, there was a huge gap between the story as it had developed and the hasty ending. I'm still pondering. No question that her character development was engaging and quirky, and there were some interesting twists to the plot. I'm just not sure that the ending fit the rest of the book.


Day 27 – If a book contains ______, you will always read it (and a book or books that contain it)!
I'm not sure I can categorize my reading habits quite this way: I'm an eclectic reader and always have been. While I like some romances, I don't especially enjoy the 'happily ever after' ones unless there is some quirkiness thrown in there -- Nora Roberts has some trilogies, for instance, that are certainly 'happily ever after' types, but with some enjoyable occult turns...for instance,
the three sisters island trilogy, the garden trilogy, and the key trilogy are pretty similar stories but with nice touches of magic. They're easy, beach-y-type reads, total escape novels. Now that I think about it, these trilogies are pretty formulaic, but they are fun reads.

I like magic. That's one of the appeals for me of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, I think -- all the lovely magic and fantasy thrown in there, the amazing development of the cultures.


Day 28 – First favorite book or series obsession
I'd have to say that one of my favorite series is the Kushiel series, beginning with Kushiel's Dart, by Jacqueline Carey. A friend recommended these books several years ago, and they aren't everyone's cup of tea, but I was hooked from the first chapter and obsessively read my way through them. Carey develops an interesting world that has elements of ours, but a completely different culture -- several cultures, actually. It's erotic, it's entertaining, it's surprising, with lots of action and some royalty thrown in to boot.


Day 29 – Saddest character death OR best/most satisfying character death (or both!)
Of the more recent books I've read, hands down it is Dumbledore's death in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

I've written more about that elsewhere in this meme.

Definitely the saddest.


Day 30 – What book are you reading right now?
Just last night I finished Her Fearful Symmetry.

I've got an Oprah magazine I have barely touched, a Writer's magazine that I haven't even cracked, and a few others around here that will do for a while. I'll probably start in on the pile next to my bed, perhaps beginning with Crichton's Next.

Books - Day 14 -- favorite character

Day 14 – Favorite character in a book (of any sex or gender)

Probably my favorite character of all time is Katherine (Kate) from Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew." I love her strength, her wily, opinionated, vulnerable dialogue. I love her spirit and her temper. I love her independence, her interdependence, and that she does not, in the end, lose that spirit.

While the gender relationships in the play have been debated for centuries, I have always believed that at the end Kate and Petruchio are equals, each well suited to the other, and have found a comfortable relationship through their jabs and jests. Yet they respect who the other is, I believe, and relish that.

My dad read me this play when I was young, along with others of his favorites, and that has always colored my enjoyment of Shakespeare. He taught me that Shakespeare must be taught as theatre first, and that you truly cannot understand the plays unless you can visualize the staging. When I took a Shakespeare class in college, the teacher was all about the etymology of the words and phrases, and it took the joy out of it. When I taught it to high schoolers, we usually read it out loud and always had a model of the Globe Theatre handy for reference, as well as special projects about the times, the audiences, the actors, and the theatre itself.

It was the one role I always wanted to play and never have, save for a scene done in high school during a variety show for the student body. I loved every line of the dialogue: "If I be waspish, best beware my sting!"

I loved the Burton-Taylor coupling in the 1967 Franco Zeffirelli version and the lush colors and textures of the film. The lighting was a photographer's dream -- warm, deep, and vividly enhancing the landscapes, the costumes, and the sets. I loved the chemistry between the two fiery actors and the nuances of their interpretation of their characters. Given their passionate, often tumultuous relationship off-screen, this play might well have been written for them.

My daughter's middle name is Kate, so named after this independent, spirited woman who ended up in a deeply loving relationship of equals. May that eventually be so.

Books, Day 13 -- childhood reading

Day 13 – Favorite childhood book OR current favorite YA book (or both!)

Hands down my current favorite is the Harry Potter series, although I think it is a little too dark for many children (and that includes the movies -- some of the visuals would give a younger child nightmares, I think). While Rowling may have started the series as YA (young adult) one, it evolved into a series for all of us.

Despite its critics, the series is engaging, imaginative, and clearly is a metaphorical tale of good versus evil, even possibly a Christian allegory, at least in the views of some reviewers, and that despite the early boycotting of the books by the fundamentalist types because of the wizard/witch emphasis.

I love it because I want to believe in magic, I want to believe that bad people eventually get their just rewards (karma!), and I want to believe that ultimately good prevails over bad. And it does, although not without pain and loss.

Just like life. At least I hope that, although when I read the news and contemplate the actions of financiers, most Republicans and far too many Democrats, and leaders on every level in every part of business, I wonder where the magic is, where the good is, that will triumph over the self-serving, inhumane, greedy, judgmental actions that seem to be their creeds.

I want good, decent, kind people to prevail, the ones with ethics that are not compromised by the promise of a dollar, the ones who do not believe in trampling the rights of others in order to get rich or famous. Rowling delivers that.

*******************
The book(s) I remember best from my own childhood do too.

The first book I remember being read is "Wynken, Blynken and Nod," a story poem by Eugene Field. It was a tall, beautifully illustrated book with a red cover, and I gave it some years ago to my daughter, after I'd read it to her throughout her childhood. When my mother was in her last days, I remember reading it to her over the telephone. I still love the calming words, the rocking of the ocean, the rhyme and rhythm of the words lulling me to sleep.

I read constantly, always, as a child. I preferred the company of books and a story to playing outside or anything athletic (that's not changed). I remember hiding books behind my textbooks in class and more than once getting caught by a teacher, especially once in fourth grade when I giggled out loud at a passage during a history lesson. Busted.

I loved anything in a series: Nancy Drew, Trixie Beldon, the Bobbsey Twins, the Little House books. I loved Louisa May Alcott, especially Eight Cousins, and often wished I had such wonderful brothers/cousins instead of the bratty little brother that I was stuck with (and who I love dearly, you understand).

I read my way through the Brothers Grimm and every other fairy or folk tale collection in the Greene County (Missouri) Public Library Children's Section -- I love stories about magic, legend and myth, which also may account somewhat for my enthusiasm for Harry Potter, I suppose.

In fact, I read my way pretty much through the whole section, and by the time I was in fifth or sixth grade had permission from both my parents and the children's librarian to read anything I wanted from the adult section too. Fortunately they never believed in restricting access to anything -- a belief which I carried forward and ultimately became actively involved in protecting the right to read.

Books have shaped who I am, beginning with the books my parents read to me every day, books I remember still after going on 63 years. I am grateful.

Books - Day 8 & Day 9

Day 08 – A book everyone should read at least once

This is not an easy one. I've contemplated this for more than a day, sorting through the memory banks for books I'd say were on a lifetime list.

Every child should read or have read to them "Goodnight Moon," "The Runaway Bunny," the poems of Shel Silverstein and Eugene Field. And "A Wrinkle in Time, "Charlotte's Web," "The Trumpet of the Swan." And more.

I think every young adult should read "The Little Prince," "Catcher in the Rye," "Romeo and Juliet," "To Kill A Mockingbird," and probably a bunch more I'm forgetting.

And every adult should read many of the books that are on this list, although I'm not sure I agree with them all as 'must-reads.'

But the two that I probably would recommend (okay, okay, so I don't always follow directions) that I believe are the most helpful for generally living your life are:
***drumroll***

What Color is Your Parachute? by Richard Bolles
...wherein you learn valuable information about what you like to do, what you want to do, and how to make it happen,

and

Alcoholics Anonymous: The Big Book
...wherein you learn a blueprint for living your life that will help you in EVERY SITUATION you will ever encounter. You need not be an alcoholic to benefit from this: its basic tenets have formed the basis for 12-Step groups dealing with every sort of addiction, including things like food, sex, and drugs. But it also helps with such issues as control, anger, even 'sin' -- I once taught a Sunday school class using A Hunger for Healing -- based on the 12 steps -- which was one of the best, most popular series we ever did.


Day 09 – Best scene ever

The one that leaps to mind is in JK Rowling's Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, where Dumbledore dies.

I'd already finished the book, horrified and shocked. A few days later my daughter called me near midnight -- always a scary thing to have the phone ring at midnight -- and wailed, without explanation or identification, "He DIED! How could he DIE!" And I knew what she meant.

I'm sure there are other scenes that have left me breathless, that I raced through to find out what happened, but this is the most recent memory.

Getting sucked in

I'm tired of reading the many posts on this blog that deal with our daughters and their respective issues. I'm tired of seeing the same behaviors in them over and over and over. I'm tired of seeing the same behaviors in ME, over and over.

I resent that I worry about them, each of them, at different times. That they tell me about issues, either their own or the other's, and then leave it hanging, so that I am fretting over stupidity or health or stability or money.

I want to stop that.

I don't want to get sucked in to their drama anymore.

I'm not quite sure how to accomplish that and make it stick. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away. I love them and don't want them to feel that I'm deserting them, but I'm not sure how to maintain some balance here.

Actually, I've been doing pretty well at doing things I love to do and meeting my commitments, but I worry nonetheless, and I know it isn't good for me.

I guess I just need to remember, yet again, that I am powerless over people, places and things, and that they will do what they will. But....I do believe that my words can make a difference to them....I've seen that happen.

Either that, or they're blowing sunshine at me, and I'm falling for it, yet again...

Eh.

So let me talk about rain. It's not a lot, but it is nice to have gray skies and even occasional raindrops. It's good to have a fire in the woodstove to take off the chill: it is not particularly cold, just chilly. I did see trees in bloom downtown yesterday, though, and that is not good. We have had such unseasonably warm weather that things are waking up, and they need to stay put a little longer.

I'm longing for the ocean these days, to hear that deep, calming heartbeat thrumming through my whole body, to feel the cold sting of the water on my feet, to watch the endless series of waves, and the shorebirds running to meet each new ruffle as it breaks on the beach. To see pelicans swooping and diving in perfect formation. To smell the salt-fresh air and take it deep into my lungs. We need a trip, even a day trip.

I'm reading eclectically: right now it's Broken Open by Elizabeth Lesser, who I saw on Oprah. I'm barely into it, but like what she's saying and agree that in our breaking open our pain and silence that we become who we are, even if we can't even see the possibility of happiness when we're so caught up in the pain of the moment.

But I also have read the latest of Diane Mott Davidson's cooking murder books, Sweet Revenge -- just a fun read, although I get hungry when I read her very rich recipes. I read Anne Rivers Siddons' new one, Off Season, set in Maine of course, and loved it until the ending, which I did not love at all (unusual for her books). I finished the latest Nora Roberts trilogy, truly a beach-read-style book and just plain escape. And I also read one titled I'm Still Your Mother, which was okay, but doesn't really speak to how to parent grown children who have 'issues'.

That's in addition to the various O magazines -- still a great read for the money -- Newsweeks, Business Weeks, various blogs, two daily newspapers, and assorted others that come in here.

It's been good to really read again. I always read something before I turn out the light, but often I have very little time during the day to read. One day over Christmas that was all I did, other than fix a few meals. It was wonderful.

I'm feeling the need to move -- to get some exercise of some kind, just because I'm so aware of diminished strength in my body and legs from doing so much sedentary work! I finally settled on a pair of good athletic shoes and they offer good support, so that excuse is gone. I just wish I liked something physical well enough to want to do it often.

It's already February. I am determined to make the most of every day, every month, and not spend useless time in worry or fear. I can change only one person -- me. And I'm working on that.

Making downtime

I seldom stop doing stuff, even when I'm supposedly "relaxing" -- I fold clothes while I'm watching TV, or go through the stacks of magazines that accumulate by my bedside table or in baskets all over the house, or read the newspapers more thoroughly.

I'll watch Oprah or a movie while I'm cooking or cleaning the kitchen up, or ironing (something I don't often do, but with linen season upon us, the stuff just does better if it's ironed, even briefly).

My mother didn't sit still either, at least until painful osteoporosis forced her into a sedentary life. She sewed or ironed or read while she watched TV or clipped coupons, or something. So it's not odd that I do much the same.

And it's not even something I really MIND doing, usually -- it just needs doing, and for some of these chores, TV makes them more enjoyable.

But sit and read a book? Wow. Only if I'm sick, and then I'm usually really sick and sleeping, not reading. (Note: I read every day. I read the newspapers (two of 'em), I read magazines over lunch, and I have a huge stack of books beside the bed. I always -- ALWAYS -- read after I crawl into bed and before I turn out the light: it helps me transition into sleep, let go of the day and most stressors. Sometimes I can even stay awake long enough to read several chapters.)

But vacation is when I get to read as much as I want, or give myself permission to watch TV without doing something else. Last summer, when we went to Tennessee, I put a significant dent in the last Harry Potter book while we were visiting my brother, and plane trips -- irritating as they can be -- are hours when I get to read without the remotest hint of guilt.

We had a little taste of downtime this weekend when we visited a friend in Davis and went to see Phantom of the Opera in Sacramento. We wandered around Davis, visited the Arboretum, sat outside and enjoyed an al fresco lunch and then brunch today, and talked about nothing deep.

And Phantom was simply glorious, just as I remembered it being the first time I saw it on stage long ago in Nashville, Tenn. We reveled in the music -- played the CDs all the way to Davis -- and it's been playing again in my head all day today.

The weekend was wonderful. Restful, although not related to sleep -- which we did, and well, thankyouverymuch, but just in the down time. Being away from the little things that call to me all the time at home -- do a load of laundry, check the garden, wipe down the sink, clean the kitty fountain, organize the desk -- you know. Being away from the lure of e-mail and Web browsers, from notes that need to get written into articles.

Honest-to-god down time.

We've got a longer escape planned for later, and it shouldn't require doing anything other than watching ocean waves and reading the Jodi Picoult novel I've been saving for such an occasion. I can't wait.

Meanwhile, there's a laundry basket full of clothes that need to be folded. Let me check what's on the DVR...

Three years old

Old Musings is three! I started this blog Oct. 11, 2004 -- and this is my 187th post. That's about one post every six days...not quite my ideal, but there was a big chunk of time in 2005 going into 2006 where I wrote nothing after my mother died. Ideally I'd post at least three times weekly. Let's see how I do in my fourth year.

Over this next week or so I'd like to take a look back at some of my favorite posts -- so please indulge me that.

One place I've bogged down is reporting what I'm reading. Mostly it's been magazines -- my current fav O magazine takes me a while since it is fat and full of good articles, thought-provoking and interesting ones, unlike so many magazines that you can recycle after about an hour. There's the ever-present Newsweek, which I read in spurts and therefore always have several issues folded to where I left off reading, and Cooking Light and Sunset, which I also read in bits and then go back through before I'm ready to pass them on.

I read every night in bed, and magazines are fairly awkward, alas, but I read 'em anyway. The problem with cooking magazines is that I get hungry, and it's far too late to eat.

I'm reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love after seeing an interview on Oprah. Her style is very casual, almost blog-style, and very easy to read. I'm just barely into it but like what I'm reading very much.

I finished Evening by Susan Minot, who also wrote the screenplay for the movie of the same name. I was very disappointed in this book and hope I like the movie better -- it came highly recommended by my BFF Julie, and has a terrific cast. But the book was a mishmash of what I thought was very superficial thoughts by both the main character who is dying, and her children, and it was written without an abundance of punctuation and no quotation marks. I found it tedious, and it was that way to the very end -- yes, I kept reading in hopes that it would have some redemption at the end. It didn't. Reading the Amazon reviews, I see that I wasn't alone in my assessment, although there also was a great deal of praise for the stream-of-consciousness style.

A new O should hit the mailbox this week. :)

Anyway. Happy anniversary to Old Musings and to me. And thank YOU for reading these ramblings.

Between the lines

It feels like everything is on hold, waiting...

Waiting for rain. Waiting for spring. Waiting for the real estate market to get better. Waiting for the next holiday (which isn't until MAY!!! for those of you who have regular jobs where you get days off).

I am so totally right here and now about everything -- not that it's a bad way to be, but I don't seem to be able to think about stuff in either the past or the future other than to note it on the calendar.

It's been one of those nose-to-the-grindstone weeks, where I'm working on the computer for hours, doing layouts, designs, twiddling and fiddling with elements, comparing, revising. And investigating some freelance writing possibilities, which of course entailed completely revising my resume. And always checking out real estate and working on marketing our listings and searching for places to advertise some of them. I feel very focused...okay, somewhat obsessed. I dream about my to-do list when I finally manage to get to sleep (but if I take a Tylenol PM, I'm just a zombie until after noon). My neck is stiff, my joints are creaky, I need to walk in the mornings but I'm also trying to get things done and checked off.

~~whine~~~

The little tree that always leafs out first is leafing...just barely, but there are definitely leaves popping. And while we may have more rain, the real winter weather is likely over. In fact, I bought seeds the other day -- lettuce, sugar snap peas, spinach, onion -- and would like to get part of the garden prepped this weekend maybe so I can start the cooler weather crops even though the last frost date is not until April 15. By the time I got the garden in last year, it was too late for peas and onions, and just borderline for lettuce.

I'm still planning to make those curtains, maybe replace the chair cushions, finish framing and hanging photos, cleaning parts of the house that haven't been touched in too long, and going through my closet to take to either Act II or Salvation Army. That's after I finish all the computer work. The freelance ops. Cleaning my hideously messy desk.

I'm living these days between the lines -- fully focused, but not mindfully moving. I'm doing, not being. I'm getting a little tired of it, but I also can't stop....

My favorite time of day is bedtime, when I ease into the flannel sheets, sink into the bed, and pick up my book. I love having Tony snug against my side, and the cats in their usual sleeping places on the bed. It's quiet, warm, and I can indulge in my favorite activity -- reading-- without feeling like I should be doing something else.

I hate not going to sleep quickly and hearing the clock hit 2 a.m. or even 3....

This too shall pass.

May you sleep peacefully. May you find a joyous moment in every day. May you be grateful for your blessings.

Me too.

I'm a bookie

That is, I love to read. I love books.

And right now most of mine are scattered all over the den floor in heaps and piles. I'm rearranging stuff to fit in the aforementioned photo albums, and while I was at it, decided to alphabetize everything and separate fiction and nonfiction. It may take a while....

In another blog I read, someone mentioned keeping track of the books they've read over the course of the year, so I'm going to add that every time I finish one.

Now be warned if you're thinking you're going to get some high-class book list that will warrant careful and serious discussion of the deep thoughts contained therein. While not impossible, it's not likely.

I'm a fiction junkie. I love 'beach-reading' books. Trash books -- okay, a step up from Harlequin romances -- I just cannot stomach those, nor others of that ilk, although I've read a few bodice-rippers that were fun. And I'm a serial reader. When I find an author I enjoy, I often read everything I can find that s/he has written, and watch publisher lists for new ones. I like escape reading -- stuff I can read every night in bed and blot out all the monkey-mind thoughts whirling in my head.

Jodi Picoult is my current obsession, and I'm on book four of her 14, although not in date order. She writes about families and relationships, often with situations paralleling real stories, with a twist near the end. They're good, engrossing stories.

Nora Roberts and her alter-ego JD Robb, are good storytellers too -- sometimes a little magic, sometimes a little fantasy, a little sex -- and very easy reads. Fun stuff.

Oh, there are so many others...Diane Mott Davidson and her caterer-heroine Goldie Baer Schultz; Barbara Delinsky; Anne Rivers Siddons whose book Fault Lines -- sappy though it may be -- hit me at a time in my life when I was deciding what to do about a life that no longer suited me. And I know I'm forgetting so many others.

I suppose those could be classified as 'romance' novels. Definitely chick-lit.

But I also like Stephen King and Dean Koontz, although not everything from either one. I don't want to see movies based on their books, though. That's someone else's interpretation, and a little too intense for me.

And I like Thomas Harris of the Hannibal Lecter entrees. The first one I read of his was Silence of the Lambs and I was hooked -- this before I had a clue that it was going to be a movie (which I've never watched in its entirety). Gripping storyteller, if fairly macabre.

Love mysteries. I've got the entire Nero Wolfe series on my shelf. Daddy was a die-hard fan too, and gave me his Rex Stout collection years ago. Oh, they're fairly old-fashioned -- no sex, for instance, and no detailed blood and gore, but hey -- they're about an obese, obsessive-compulsive, designer-beer drinking, orchid gardener who wears yellow pajamas and rarely leaves his house, and solves mysteries when he chooses to with the help of his go-fer (and narrator) Archie Goodwin.

Years ago I also read all the James Bond books: did you even know they were books before they were movies? Michael Crichton. Robin Cook. Robert Ludlum.

And then there are the treasures: John Updike, a prolific and versatile writer who I got to hear lecturein the '80s; Tom Wolfe, a journalist-turned-novelist whose richly descriptive Bonfire of the Vanities was simply ruined as a movie (and I got to hear him, too!). The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings series -- among the few I re-read.

It's always been my belief that you can't appreciate the truly wonderful writers until you've also read the bad and so-so ones. When I read truly wonderful books, I savor them and will go back to re-read passages just to enjoy the flow of the language. I speed-read most everything else.

We're not done with this topic. I'll never be done reading.

My current book is Picoult's Vanishing Acts.