Ask for what you want

The Daily Om seems to be on a roll this week. Today's tidbit is about asking for what you want and being very intentional, very detailed about the specifics.

Over and over, we have found this to be true and often caution each other to be careful about what we ask for! Perhaps if we visualized more details, it might help -- but some years ago it was suggested to me that I ask for 'this...or something better' and trust that the Universe will provide what we need.

Not that it happens instantly, mind you, nor are we without responsibility for acting on what we want. But when you align the mind and spirit to focus on what you want an outcome to be, you begin to take actions, often unconsciously, that will lead you in that direction.

And not that it always happens exactly as you planned, although -- thinking back just now -- we planned our house here in very specific detail, our move very intently, the timetable just so. All that happened just about exactly as we'd asked. What threw a bit of a loop in the plans was my getting sick about six months before we were to execute the plan, and ending up on disability, and then getting laid off. However, I had hated that job so much and was so desperately unhappy and stressed, and yet determined to stick it out until the move (nah--nothing stubborn about me), that it is no surprise, really, that I did get sick.

But we got what we asked for, even with the layoff. It just didn't happen quite as we'd envisioned.

Similarly, we asked for a job here, for something that would allow us to be together pretty much all the time, and that happened, although in ways we could never have anticipated -- I mean, selling real estate was never a career choice I'd have chosen previously, but I enjoyed it and wasn't bad at it!

And when that no longer was working for us, we asked the Universe for something else that would give us health insurance and some income, and we got it. Is it perfect? No. Does it do what we asked for? Definitely.

So I'm a believer in asking, in planning, in visualizing what you want. Even when you don't know exactly what you want, if you put out a plea for help, for clarity to see possibilities, it happens. Sometimes you have to pay very close attention to see it -- but it's always there.

What do you want? I'm still asking for what I want -- but I'm also taking steps to make it happen.

Never, ever give up

Here's a video of a 47-year-old British woman who absolutely wowed the audience on "Britain's Got Talent."

What this says to me is "never give up." As we're fond of saying about our girls, "God's not done with them yet." Same could be said of us.

In one of the blogs I read regularly, Getting Past Your Past, the author has often told her readers "Don't give up the day before the miracle happens."

Some days it is hard to get out of bed, isn't it, much less to continue to shovel sh*t against the tide (one of my ex's favorite sayings). It's hard, sometimes, to just get 'er done, to clean what needs cleaning, to do what needs doing, to keep washing the dishes and the clothes and dusting and picking up and cooking. The routine stuff that keeps things in order, running as they should.

I don't know about you, but I've had months like that, I think, where it's one day, one step at a time, without much break in that grind.

We take a lot for granted -- those of us who have our own homes, with clean water and abundant power and enough to eat, and a warm place to sleep out of the cold and rain, or the heat and bugs. So I try to give thanks for those things, every day, because it is astounding to realize that there are many, many people, even in our own town, who do not have these things on a regular basis.

I consciously try to find the joy in every day, to find gratitude in even the most humble tasks. To live right now, in this moment, instead of waiting for the day when the stars will align and the big break will come and I'll win the lottery and my book will become a best seller. (Nevermind that I haven't written it yet...)

That's the point. That's the lesson in Susan Boyle's performance, I think.

She did not give up before her miracle happened. She took a huge risk to get on this show, to realize her dream. Life will never be the same for her, regardless of where her performance takes her.

So I can start again now to do what needs doing, but also to make time for dreams and work on making them happen. It won't happen at all if I don't keep it always in my sight and do something to move it forward every day, even a little bit. God is not done with me yet.

Examining the Secret -- and yourself

There's a comment from a "John Curtis" on the posting below that rants about self-help and how it is all an attempt for each of us to find someone to tell us how to think and feel, etc.

I wrote a response which you can read below his.

And then I did some poking around to find out who this guy is. If you click on his name, you'll be taken to a page that no longer exists. HOWEVER, in back of the address is a URL for a group that is against "fraudulent self help." You read it for yourself (if you want to take the time).

Clearly the group hates the current popularity of the secret -- but tucked in their list of opinions is one that basically says that if you want it to succeed, you first must focus your attention on what you want, and then take action to get it.

Duh.

That hardly qualifies as fraudulent self-help in my book -- in fact, it's the only thing that truly works, imho, no matter what program/church/practice you follow in your own life. It's what I've been saying in this blog for the past three years: you create your own destiny by the choices you make (or don't make).

There is no easy way. You can't read a book, hear a sermon, watch a video, and sit back and wait for things to happen. It takes work and patience and gratitude and more work. And the results you get may vary from what you thought you wanted -- but my experience is that it works better than what I'd planned.

Yes, people are making lots of money writing about the secret. So what? TV evangelists make lots of money talking about church. Does that make what they're doing fraudulent or wrong? No. The evangelistic entrepreneurs may believe what they're advocating, but they also know they can make a living from people who will abdicate responsibility for their own lives and choices. And there will always be those people.

As with any program/practice/church that I've EVER been involved with, I've taken some of the secret concepts and tried to apply them to my life -- always with an eye towards living a better, kinder, more productive life, but also being true to who I am. I don't swallow anything whole anymore, and that to me is just plain ol' common sense. Question. Examine. Discard some, save others. (can you hear strains of "I did it myyyyyyyyyy wayyyyyyyy" floating in the background?) That's me.

You do it your way.

Doing the next right thing

Some time back, I wrote a little about The Secret and the little book It Works, and what our experiences with the latter have been. I've not yet read The Secret, but from what I understand the outcomes are similar.

It works. By directing your mind and your imagination and your beliefs toward what you want and need, doors begin to open for you. Oh, you don't sit back and do nothing. You write down your goals, your desires for right now, putting specifics with it -- timelines, dollar amounts, very detailed descriptions if you can, and then you read and re-read that list multiple times daily.

I believe energy and actions subtly realign in me to attain those goals. I see things happening in our lives that I know we've asked for and are focusing on. Some of the things that are happening aren't exactly how we expected them to happen, but the end result is what we asked for and have been working on.

It's interesting. The mind is so powerful, and we tap into so little of it consciously. I'm so very grateful for blessings that are coming to us now, small ones that are making a difference and will, I can see, lead to larger ones. I want to keep that focus, the gratitude and also the goals, foremost in my mind every day. I want to continue to do the next right thing, read those goals and realign them every day.

Thanks be. Blessed be.

Food, friends and flowers -- spring is coming

The daffodils I've planted for the last two years around the property are coming up, even though we're returning to a taste of winter this week. Almond blossoms, though, have mostly flown with the strong winds we had this weekend. Spring is a mere three weeks away.

Once again -- still -- I am awed by the swift passage of time. Those warm 100-degree days don't seem that long ago, and their return will come too quickly. I want to slow down a little! I want to savor the Irishly-green grass that colors the hills again since the rains. I want to drive down the road through blooming orchards, admire the sweeps of daffodils and jonquils on landscaped lawns. Sniff the aromatic softness in the air that is spring -- earthy, green, sweet scents. It goes by so quickly. This will be the fifth spring we've lived here; the sixth since we first came to Red Bluff. Wow.

We enjoyed a group of friends this last weekend, attending the Rotary Crab Feed where we ate prodigious amounts of those crusty-lucious critters, and again last night at an impromptu birthday party where we laughed so hard our stomachs ached and again ate well. I think life's best times are around a dinner table with friends or family when you're enjoying conversation, good food, feeling warm and cared for. These are truly those "Hallmark" moments! I listened to different conversations and watched animated faces softened by the candlelight, and felt well and truly blessed.

We came here because we wanted a better quality of life than we'd had working in the Bay area. We envisioned our home, having a circle of friends, being self-employed, spending every day with each other instead of just a daily few hours and weekends. And we have it all. (Okay, so maybe the self-employment dollars could be better... but we're also working on that.) That's asking for what you want, setting intention, and working on it. It's "The Secret."

Thanks be. Blessed be.

As seen in real life...

I don't know whether to write about theatre -- as in Wonderful Town last night at the Redding Convention Center and the upcoming Rent next week -- or tv, as in Grey's Anatomy (although I didn't see it, since I was at Wonderful Town, but I've read a bunch of blogs and episode descriptions today) -- or another Mercury Retrograde that started on Valentine's Day -- or a really horrific murder in San Francisco.

What varied topics!

And really, none of them matter a whit except the last one.

Wo/Man's ability to be cruel and inhumane to another is simply the most abhorrent sin I know, and it is so old. I can think of hundreds of examples, from the incredible genocide of the Holocaust to the shocking deaths at Darfur. I believe it begins in childhood -- if you've ever observed a group of middle school girls in action, you know what I mean. And earlier -- kids pick on anyone weaker or different from themselves.

I was always taller than most kids in my classes, and I was shy. And I believed what I was told. I was an easy target for teasing and ridicule, and I can tell you that the old saying "sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me" is baloney. Verbal abuse leaves scars that can't be seen, but wounds that are as damaging as physical abuse.

I remember wanting so desperately to "belong" to a group of girls -- I was maybe in second grade -- that I willingly sat on the low concrete wall of a small bridge on the way home from school when the three or four girls told me to, and then was pushed backwards into the little creek. They ran off laughing while I made my wet, sobbing way home wondering why they'd been so mean and what I'd done to make them dislike me so much. It made my already shy self even more shy and quiet.

My mother always wrapped me in her arms and was sympathetic, but also continually warned me not to let them see me cry or react; that when bullies get a reaction from their victims, they just go at it harder. She was, of course, right. But I just couldn't believe they'd keep teasing and calling names when it was obviously so upsetting to me (or any other victim).

When bullying extends into adulthood, it often turns criminal. The SF story about the homeless woman who was doused with gasoline and burned to death in revenge for her reporting a previous beating by the same women to the police should outrage every person who reads it.

Oh, you get the idea, and there are far too many more examples: Saddam's sons throwing living people into a shredder, for instance...

I don't understand. I don't understand why so many of us live in safety and security and with shelter and enough food, and so many others live in constant fear and starvation and deprivation. I don't understand why "The Secret" works for some of us, but would be a concept completely and totally foreign for so much of the world's population. How do you "visualize" your way out of that? How do you keep from being kidnapped and burned to death because you tried to protect yourself?

Mercury is retrograde again, and it is supposed to be a very introspective time. Maybe that's why I've been feeling quiet...

But I've also said a prayer for the poor little woman who died, and tried to say one for the two women who killed her. And always, always I am grateful for my life and the love and blessings I feel in such abundance. I hope I reflect that back to the world.

Be grateful. Be well.

Too many words...not enough time

My head has been full of blog ideas but there simply hasn't been time to put fingers to keyboard and get them down!

Some good things:
...today is Valentine's Day and this is the 10th one I've spent with my honey. What an incredible blessing he is! We are my favorite fairy tale...we knew from the first day we met that we were intended to be together, and while many things have changed in our lives, that love and caring and cherishing has only become deeper.

... the universe works in amazing ways. Just a day after the last post, we got a phone call from friends of some 15-20 years that we'd lost touch with...we had been thinking very intently of them and tried to find them on the Internet; they'd been doing the same. It's been two years and a big move for them since we were in touch -- and we will see them this summer when we visit the South!

... we are concentrating very hard on what we need and want for business this year, and I'm working to focus on the joy and gratitude in every situation, every event, rather than any negative feelings. It does make a difference.

...the Air Force Band concert this last weekend was simply wonderful. One piece -- Holst's "The Planets" and specifically the "Jupiter" selection -- inspired me to order the full CD from Amazon, and I have it in hand as well as another long ago favorite, "Pictures at an Exhibition." I'll have hours of pleasure from those two, and they will make the next dental cleaning event more easily endured.

More later...errands have gone from "whenever" to "gotta do it" status.

"The Secret" isn't one. Anyone can do it.

Tony's posted his thoughts on "The Secret," the topic on Oprah Winfrey's show yesterday, and apparently quite the upcoming trend in the spiritual world.

"The Secret" is based mainly on the Laws of Attraction, which were outlined in the little red book"It Works!" that I mentioned in a post last month. If you do some poking around on Amazon or Google, you'll find material about the Laws of Attraction (LOA) that date way back. It's not new information.

(Boy, there are a lot of links in those two paragraphs!)

It is simple, but it is not easy. It takes work to keep yourself focused on the positive, on the joy and gratitude of what you're asking for and envisioning. It takes work not to slip into negative thinking or attitudes. And while I wholeheartedly believe that it works, it doesn't appear on a silver platter, either. You have to do the homework, the leg work, the right speech and right action to stay on that path, even when wonderful things happen to help you along. And it can be a little scary when you slip out of your comfort zone.

As i wrote previously, it was the LOA practice that brought us here, built our house, found us a new business, and created for us the kind of life we wanted. We asked: the universe gave.

I've been doing this practice for years, but didn't know that it had a name! And I am deeply, deeply grateful for what I've been given: my daughter, my husband, this life. There are stories behind each of those -- but the bottom line is that I asked for them, I believed I deserved them and visualized them and worked for them, and I have been blessed with them!

Hard, sorrowful things will happen to us as we go along life's path -- people die, jobs go away, health deteriorates, for instance. What matters is how we react to these events. In everything that happens to us there is a lesson that will help us. There is a reason for every relationship: we either need to learn something from that person, or we need to teach something to that person. There are no coincidences. Everything -- EVERY thing -- happens for a reason. WE create our own destinies.

In it all, there is joy and gratitude. You move ahead from within that surrounding feeling of joy and gratitude and love. And it works. For anyone who wants to make it work.

Ya gotta have friends...

Long ago in another life, a friend gave me a little framed quote done in scherenschnitte: Friends give joy and divide sorrow. It's moved with me for years, sometimes displayed on a little stand, sometimes on the wall. It reminds me of that friend, of that time in my life (plus the craft itself is remarkable).

I feel truly replete with the friendships I've found here -- very blessed with friends. I'm not quite sure how it happened, except I know you have to be a friend to find a friend. But we were talking the other night about all the activities we're doing with neighbors and friends, and how wonderful that feels! It was one of the reasons we changed our lives four years ago: we wanted more than going to work, coming home, doing chores, watching a little TV, and repeating that pattern -- there was just no time for anything else.

So we visualized that, along with some other things. Another friend, knowing what we were trying to do, gave us It Works! It is a short little book that focuses on asking very specifically for what you want and then visualizing that every day. I suppose it's a very simplistic approach to visualizing, but it helped us tremendously. And the goals we visualized have all happened.

I think that when you actively visualize an outcome, you also unconsciously align your energy and your actions to make it happen. More than 10 years ago, I began to realize that I needed to make some changes in my life -- big ones -- because I knew that when I was at the end of my life I didn't want to look back and say "I wonder what would have happened if..." I was no longer willing to settle, to allow life to happen to me instead of actively working to make the life I wanted. An Internet buddy told me, after listening to me talk yet again about wanting to change, "Then make it happen, sister." And I did.

Right now I'm working on new goals --especially for business -- and always giving thanks for those we have attained and continue to cherish. It is a blessing to start the day walking with friends, to exchange e-mails or phone calls with faraway friends, to share a cup of tea with friends, and to have fun going places and doing things with friends. To share joy, to divide sorrow.