As seen in real life...

I don't know whether to write about theatre -- as in Wonderful Town last night at the Redding Convention Center and the upcoming Rent next week -- or tv, as in Grey's Anatomy (although I didn't see it, since I was at Wonderful Town, but I've read a bunch of blogs and episode descriptions today) -- or another Mercury Retrograde that started on Valentine's Day -- or a really horrific murder in San Francisco.

What varied topics!

And really, none of them matter a whit except the last one.

Wo/Man's ability to be cruel and inhumane to another is simply the most abhorrent sin I know, and it is so old. I can think of hundreds of examples, from the incredible genocide of the Holocaust to the shocking deaths at Darfur. I believe it begins in childhood -- if you've ever observed a group of middle school girls in action, you know what I mean. And earlier -- kids pick on anyone weaker or different from themselves.

I was always taller than most kids in my classes, and I was shy. And I believed what I was told. I was an easy target for teasing and ridicule, and I can tell you that the old saying "sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me" is baloney. Verbal abuse leaves scars that can't be seen, but wounds that are as damaging as physical abuse.

I remember wanting so desperately to "belong" to a group of girls -- I was maybe in second grade -- that I willingly sat on the low concrete wall of a small bridge on the way home from school when the three or four girls told me to, and then was pushed backwards into the little creek. They ran off laughing while I made my wet, sobbing way home wondering why they'd been so mean and what I'd done to make them dislike me so much. It made my already shy self even more shy and quiet.

My mother always wrapped me in her arms and was sympathetic, but also continually warned me not to let them see me cry or react; that when bullies get a reaction from their victims, they just go at it harder. She was, of course, right. But I just couldn't believe they'd keep teasing and calling names when it was obviously so upsetting to me (or any other victim).

When bullying extends into adulthood, it often turns criminal. The SF story about the homeless woman who was doused with gasoline and burned to death in revenge for her reporting a previous beating by the same women to the police should outrage every person who reads it.

Oh, you get the idea, and there are far too many more examples: Saddam's sons throwing living people into a shredder, for instance...

I don't understand. I don't understand why so many of us live in safety and security and with shelter and enough food, and so many others live in constant fear and starvation and deprivation. I don't understand why "The Secret" works for some of us, but would be a concept completely and totally foreign for so much of the world's population. How do you "visualize" your way out of that? How do you keep from being kidnapped and burned to death because you tried to protect yourself?

Mercury is retrograde again, and it is supposed to be a very introspective time. Maybe that's why I've been feeling quiet...

But I've also said a prayer for the poor little woman who died, and tried to say one for the two women who killed her. And always, always I am grateful for my life and the love and blessings I feel in such abundance. I hope I reflect that back to the world.

Be grateful. Be well.