Saturday, December 06, 2014

#Reverb 14, Day 6

1. Despite our usually sunny dispositions and dedication to the practice of “assuming positive intent,” we all occasionally find ourselves having to deal with an incredibly unpleasant individual.

While I’m sure you always handle it with the tact and finesse for which you’ve become so well known, I’m going to ask you to step outside yourself for just a moment.

Think back to such a situation: if the gloves were off, how you really would have liked to have dealt with them?

2. Money:  Where did you spend your money this year?  Did you save it instead?  What, if anything, would you like to do with your finances this year?

1. Just when you think you're making progress on creating boundaries and letting stress go, here comes this prompt, inviting us to let our inner tyrant out. Huh. 

I haven't really had a close encounter of the nasty kind for several years, partly because I make it a point to avoid putting myself in the paths of such people, and will leave a situation entirely if necessary. It is my experience that there are no winners here; that in fact responding with similar nastiness will only fan the already hot tempers that are burning up any semblance of reason. And I always react physically -- racing heartbeat, agitated mind, flushed face, and often with tears of rage. Yuk. 

 This is not a new topic for me. I wrote about a couple of instances where there was some really nasty behavior going on in our neighborhood: the first, and then the second, same people. Along with others, I walked out of the meeting, my parting shot to the 80+-year-old man who is still the nastiest person I have ever met being a heartfelt, snarled "F**K YOU." Not something I generally say in public.

As I said yesterday, the strongest statement is often silence, if you can stand it. It frustrates the angry person who wants to get a big, equally nasty reaction out of you. I've certainly been in a few situations where silence would have been taken for acquiescence, however, and I just *had* to open my mouth and say what I thought, which, of course, resulted in escalation of the whole thing to a new nasty high. There is no point in arguing with someone who is convinced that s/he is in the right about something. Walk out. Don't go back. Ever. If it's family, think long and hard about how much you want this person in your life, causing this much stress to you. Not every person who is related to you by blood can be classified 'family.' 

2. Moneymoneymoneymoney....We are so blessed in retirement to have enough to do what we want to do. Not wild spending spree nor diamonds and expensive car-type money, mind you. But enough to cover our needs and allow us to have fun.

We traveled this year in our little travel trailer, Sallie Forth, spending a couple of weeks in Oregon near Crater Lake, and then another three weeks in Washington state, visiting our daughter and enjoying the incredible beauty and majesty of the Olympic Peninsula and Mount Rainier. We took pictures. We ate good food. We spent time sitting by the ocean, and going to museums, and enjoying our campsites in beautiful surroundings. We had our inside kitties with us too, and that is always a joy. We will do more traveling in 2015. 

We are in the time of life to enjoy the fruits of our years of labor, and we are. There is a balance, of course, in spending retirement dollars because we don't want to overspend and have nothing left should we live longer than expected, but neither do we intend to pinch pennies so our children can enjoy our money when we no longer need it! Our new slogan is "If not now, when?"



1 comment:

Kat McNally said...

I once read about a woman who cultivated for herself a "family of intention". I really like the sound of that.