So Mother is now on IV antibiotics and pretty much confined to bed, and has pnemonia, feet and hands are swelling, on oxygen. It is very hard to be so far away, and to be so tied to the phone, waiting any change. It is always uppermost in my thoughts, invading sleep, errands, work. Today I just feel numb...waiting, waiting, waiting.
I make to-do lists in my head about the stuff I need for her, and then I shut off my thoughts because she's not dead yet and I don't want to go there until I have to go there, yet I SHOULD go some, in order to expedite and make notifications easier, yet I don't WANT to go there. It's a catch-22.
I feel like all these thoughts are swimming, like fish in a bowl, and each one is a separate task. I'm dithering about where to start, so I haven't. Yuk. Waiting. Patience. Again.
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