Thursday, August 17, 2006

Seeking balance, and not the yoga kind

It appears as though Muggle has at least a few of her nine lives left -- she's in residence in our second bath and is alert, eating, and eager for petting. She's still got a little medicine left, and probably this weekend we'll move her back outside. Only a week ago we were convinced she was dying. Amazing little animals, they are.

The inside boys certainly had their respective noses out of joint, however, when we put her in there, although they seem to have pretty much forgotten now. Cheswick actually huffed and got angry when Tony restrained him while I was moving Muggle in. They had their own traumas this week when we plunked them into the cat carriers and went to the vet for shots and a checkover -- Ches hissed at me, and meowed pitifully all the way there, while McMurphy huddled with big yellow owl eyes looking even bigger. Both were pronounced to be fine, although Mac is 13 lbs and change, and needs to lose weight. We're putting the food up at night, and he is waiting right there by the water bowl in the mornings for his breakfast -- much like the outdoor kitties who charge the front door when we open it to put their food outside.

I've become very accustomed to the relative lack of stress in our lives here -- we have a routine that may vary some with our different activities, but is generally predictable. So when something happens to inject stress -- be it sick kitties, ripples from real estate, worrisome news from one of the kids, or our own minor aches and ailments -- it doesn't roll off as easily.

Sleep becomes elusive. Or troubled, with repetitious, anxiety-ridden dreams. I have difficulty getting motivated to do tasks which need doing, or I do those which help me avoid other, more stressful, tasks. I spend more time thinking about perceived character flaws, or recalling incidents long past that I wish I could do over. It is not productive thinking nor acting.

Such unexpected interruptions can trigger self-analysis -- good when it helps to illuminate areas that need adjustment -- in attitude, behavior, motivation. It is not good when you get stuck in the shoulda-coulda-wouldas and simply spin in place.

It comes back to balance, to learning to accept those things I cannot change. To figuring out how to change the things I can. And therein lies the third tenet: the wisdom to know the difference. That's the real work, right there, that wisdom thing, right along with the acceptance part. Achieving those, even momentarily, is to find that balance.

As long as I am alive there will be unexpected stresses complicating life. But the key to dealing with them -- good and bad -- is in finding balance. I need that reminder every so often, and so the universe throws me a few curves. I'm grateful that they are mostly small ones, distressing, perhaps, but not potentially shattering. And I'm grateful for the blessings revealed by seeking balance in stressful moments.

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