Leftover energy affects this tongue

I've known for a long time that houses hold the energy of their inhabitants and sometimes you can *feel* it when you walk in.

There are some that feel immediately welcoming, loving, putting a visitor instantly at ease. And there are some that are just plain creepy, not evil exactly, but negative and cold and uncomfortably prickly. I've been in a lot of houses as a Realtor, and I pay attention to how the house makes me feel, because I know it will affect a buyer's perception.

I think there must be meeting rooms like that, too, in buildings where people regularly gather for business or services or workshops or organizational or public hearing meetings.

I regularly attend a meeting in one such room, and more than once words that I would almost never say have come floating out of my mouth! Snippy stuff, even mean-sounding. Stammering stuff that isn't even very accurate much less how I normally phrase my words and sentences. Stuff I later wonder what on earth possessed me to say THAT!!

Well, I'm often direct -- I don't beat around the bush much, but I'm not mean. Sometimes my words have been interpreted differently than they were intended to be, but generally I am very careful to choose my words carefully because I know how deeply words can wound. I try to be kind and warm in my words and tone and actions. And while I can certainly dish about someone or something, it's extremely rare for it to be in public -- only a few very close friends and family ever hear that side of me!

But there is something in that room that just disconnects my brain and my tongue. The mouth opens, words fall out, but the brain clearly is not engaged. As Forrest Gump would say, "Stupid is as stupid does."

Maybe that's it. Too much stupid hanging around the room? Too many confusing emotions? Too much dissent? Leftover anger and angst? It's not the other participants; it is the room itself.

I'm either going to have to shut up completely or find a way to guard myself from that energy.

We ran away today...
for a while at least, to the mountains, and followed back roads to see where they'd end up. We saw golden vineyards, a couple of flaming red trees, and snow near Lassen Park, where we watched a cloud scud over a nearby hilltop, foggy fingers reaching to cover the pines and then pull back for a moment before reaching again. It was the kind of day that puts a little smile of contentment on your face, where everything seems right. It was good to get out of the office and away from to-do lists.