Little luxuries make such a difference

I change the sheets on our bed every Sunday. And every Sunday night I slide between them and breathe a sigh of pure pleasure. I LOVE clean sheets.

I guess I could change them more often, hm? And I do, if one of us is sick and spending most of our time in bed -- you know how they get so yukky-feeling from feverish sweat and nasty energy. But generally I don't.

A couple of years ago I discovered high thread count sheets. Oh, I'd heard people raving about their 300 and 400 and 600 thread count sheets, but eh -- sheets cover the bed, what's the big deal? A sheet is a sheet.

Uh-huh. Until you've felt the touch of 400+ thread count sheets on a tired body, don't dismiss it so blithely. They're worth saving up for, or watching winter white sales to get the best deals. I got mine on a two-fer sale and have never since seen them that low.

I can't think of many things that will give you such a luxurious feeling over and over and over for the money. If you calculate cost on the per-use basis, it will come out to pennies or less in short order -- because every other sheet you own of those 180-250 thread count variety will feel like scratchy wool in comparison, and you'll find yourself washing the *good* ones so you can put them right back on the bed.

We all like to treat ourselves once in a while -- good chocolate, good wine, a cute new outfit or pair of to-die-for shoes. Stifle that instant gratification urge and put the money you'd have spent in a special "sheet" jar. Watch for a good sale. And then buy yourself a touch of how the rich-and-famous live.

Being good to yourself
Growing up, I learned to always put others first, to be a "giver." It wasn't so much that anyone SAID that, exactly, but it was a combination of example, middle class customs of the era (the '50s and '60s), and it was reinforced by most of the books and magazines I read.

For instance, my mother always chose the backs of the fried chicken we'd have for dinner -- never the breast. Women always served themselves last, never first. Sick women would drag themselves out of bed to do household chores, even though they'd insist anyone else who was that sick stay in bed. They'd make do with an old coat so that others in the family could have new ones. They'd usually defer to someone else's preferences for which restaurant or movie to choose. And so on. It was just the way it was.

***Lest I sound terribly politically incorrect, I also know men who are givers of the highest order and who also continually put themselves last. For either sex, this is not healthy behavior.***

It is difficult to UNdo all those years of mostly unconscious behavior, and to acknowledge that it is okay to put myself first sometimes. As I've grown into who I am, I've done better, and having a loving, supportive spouse who insists that I take care of myself helps, too.

Not every woman is like this, I know: in fact, some are absolutely the reverse, putting their needs and wants ahead of anything else. They are the ultimate takers; never, ever givers. Most who I know never change, either, although I'll confess that I rarely stick around them long enough to find out.

When we are good to ourselves, it is easier to like who we are, to extend loving kindness to others (even the takers), to come through difficult situations and hard times without resentment.

I guess it comes back to balance, doesn't it. You balance your needs against those of others: sometimes you get to put yourself first; sometimes it goes the other way. But those scales don't always tilt in just one direction. Finding that balance is ever, always, our challenge.