Thursday, June 14, 2007

Change brings stress and angst

I've been reminded these last few days by several incidents that everything changes, and life as you know it in this moment can change with a few words, a few actions. Change is the ONLY constant.

I'm also reminded that we are, at our core, fragile and susceptible, even though we may soldier through whatever difficulties are thrown at us and come out on the other side still walking, still functioning, even better, but not unchanged. For many of us, there is a strength inside that fragility that will not let us break irreparably....but not for all of us, and those are our sad walking wounded of life.

It is very scary when people you care about struggle with health issues or with devastating loss of trust and love. I wonder if they have the strong core, if they will survive the blows, and be able to find a good place again. And as much as I yearn to make it better, I know I can't. All I can do is stand by, arms open, and tell them I love them. And set my own boundaries in some instances, when their troubles blind them to the truth that they will have to face in order to move forward and begin to climb out of the pit.

It's even harder to watch when bad things happen for no apparent reason to people who are just trying to do the right thing and to live a conscientious life.

And yes, I know that I've written at some length on creating our own destiny through our choices and how we deal with the consequences of those choices, and yes, I still believe it. And I can see some consequences of choices made when I think about the incidents of recent days. And yet....and's not fair. It's not deserved. These are not BAD people, y'know? *sigh*

I've also been reminded that while *I* may work at being kind and watching my words carefully, not everyone does, and words can cause wounds that may not bleed but that are devastating nonetheless. (Mind you, I don't always succeed in the above intentions, but I do try...)

Sometimes life seems awfully complicated, with twisty dark places and power struggles and mean-spirited actions. It makes me want to run back to my refuge in the country and just stay put with my books and garden and Tony and cats, and not venture out for a long time.

This, too, shall pass. I pray for wisdom to know what to say and when to say it. And I pray for love and healing in all our lives.

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