Well.....fumbling fingers strike again.
I was in the midst of a very profound post about a truth I discovered today as I was reading Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose -- yes, the Oprah book, although I'm not following the classes because I'm reading it too slowly for that.
My fingers hit some key combo, and POOF. Gone.
If you have the book, read page 114: it was the subject that slapped me upside the head today.
Basically, it is about a low-level background resentment (the ego) that subtly blames others or ourselves for our not being at peace in the here and now. It's pervasive, it's always there, you learn to live with it there and try not to notice too much. But it eats away at you. You're never satisfied. It's always either your fault or someone else's fault that you're not happy, not at peace.
The secret of happiness, Tolle says? Guess.
You make peace with the present moment. "Being one with life is being one with Now. You then realize that you don't live your life, but life lives you. Life is the dancer, and you are the dance."
It's my same old song, what I've said here any number of times. Be where you are. You live life in the moment. It's all you have, this very moment.
That background resentment was something I lived with for many years, but for some reason the way Tolle wrote about it clicked for me.
He says, "...you have to start with yourself and take responsibility for your inner state at any given moment."
(I'm not even sure this is making sense as I try to explain it.)
Maybe I'm more awakened to myself, to the world, than I sometimes feel that I am.
I'm grateful I no longer live with that unsettled background resentment that is stifled anger. I'm grateful for awakenings and courage to get to where I am now, and for epiphanies that keep me grounded when I slide sideways.
May you be so blessed.