I feel like I've been in a sort of limbo since the play ended and my freelance jobs have dropped to so few. I've been tired, to be sure -- probably a psychic kind of tired more than a real physical tired. And I've slept. Last night was the best -- the weather has cooled from highs last week in the 100s to projected highs only in the low 90s, and things cooled overnight to the low 60s.
It's not for lack of things to do. The garden always needs weeding -- and we shall see if the tomatoes come back after the stupid water system guy turned off the water to the garden while he was doing his maintenance and then did not turn it back on -- which I discovered only yesterday morning, two days later. The bushes were loaded with green tomatoes. By afternoon, everything else had perked up. I am SO not happy.
There's still a ton of clothes and linens and such in my spare room that are waiting on me to put them away and sort through them. Drawers still need cleaning in every room. There's the matter of choosing what color rock to put out in front, and which drought-and-deer-resistant plants to plant in the areas so neatly defined by the retaining walls we had put in a year ago. And then, of course, doing it.
Mostly it's finding a new direction. Will it be an eBay store? Should I pursue new freelance opportunity in hopes of finding something a little more lucrative (not that it would take much to be more!) Should I concentrate on fixing up what I've needed to do around here, and not worry about making money just now? Should I really and truly start investigating and planning a book project?
Definitely on my list is doing something physical. I feel like a giant slug. I can tell muscle tone is poor, my balance (never great) is shaky, I feel loggy. We eat very healthily, despite our propensity for sweets which we control pretty well with low- or no-sugar things, and I only use salt when it's necessary for something to cook or bake properly. I grow veggies -- well, when I'm not foiled by deer or careless maintenance people. It's in the physical exercise that I am very lax, partly because I do not like exercise, partly because there are a million and one things I'd rather do. But I also know that lack of exercise will eventually contribute to a much earlier death than I hope to have, and that is a motivator.
So. New month, full moon, new beginning. We celebrate a friend's birthday tonight with ritual and lovely fresh food and gifties. It's time to leave the out-of-sorts feelings and get on with life.