Reverb 14, Day 4

1. We are all lightning rods, conduits for that which the Universe wants born into this world. What energies did you channel this year?

2. Do Over: Hindsight is the one thing we never benefit from in the present.  Is there one moment you wish that you could do-over?

1. Early this year a group of local women began meeting once a month to share and to help each other through Reiki, a focusing of energy that can help heal -- a 'laying on of hands,' it might have been called in earlier days and cultures. In September I completed the Reiki Level One classes, and will go on to Level Two the next time classes are offered here. 

This energy was tremendously helpful for me as I prepared for my ablation; helpful as I kept boundaries and worked on acceptance; helpful in getting to know other like-minded women. We come from a variety of backgrounds; some are Christian and church-going; some are not so much. It doesn't matter in that group -- the energy and caring is just there for us all to receive and to give. 

I learned to channel the Universal energy spirit through my body and my hands, and in the process, did a lot of thinking. My lessons this year were more inward, coming to terms with some long-standing issues and fears, and learning that the inside needs to be right before the outside acts,  not that it can't be done somewhat concurrently!  

I am a student these days, soaking in the lessons that are appearing before me, and learning from those who are walking the path too.  I feel very blessed to have all these teachers appear when I needed them!

2. Oh, geeze. I have always been a fantastic Monday morning quarterback, and have in the past replayed scenes the way I wished they had gone, saying in retrospect the succinct, witty, perhaps snarky comments that were not on my tongue at the right moment.  I've had whole imaginary conversations with people, multiple times, sometimes for way longer than I should even be thinking about it. 

And right now, I cannot think of a single instance this year where I wished for a do-over like that.

Were there any? Probably.

But I am learning better from my missteps, those times when I have gotten embroiled in something I'd rather not have done in retrospect, and taking steps to make sure that I don't do it again. One such instance involved explaining rather frankly to an organizer of an event dear to my heart in which I've participated for several years why I would not be helping in 2015. I was not rude nor abrasive, but rather than brush it off as being 'too busy' or some other nebulous excuse, I told the individual exactly what I felt and experienced, and wished them well. Without me. 

I am not at all sorry for participating this year. But the experience showed me clearly that I was done with the event as it currently is organized. So I really didn't want a do-over; instead, I let it go. 

That's even better, I think: to be able to analyze what no longer serves my best interests, my highest self, and to stop doing it. That leaves the door open for something new to come in, something that will better fit who I am now, who I am growing into. 

And that goes for those words that escape from my mouth before my brain is in gear. Those instances show me how important it is to LISTEN and to keep my own mouth shut until I am sure I have something valuable to add. I'm getting better at that too.