Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Between the lines

It feels like everything is on hold, waiting...

Waiting for rain. Waiting for spring. Waiting for the real estate market to get better. Waiting for the next holiday (which isn't until MAY!!! for those of you who have regular jobs where you get days off).

I am so totally right here and now about everything -- not that it's a bad way to be, but I don't seem to be able to think about stuff in either the past or the future other than to note it on the calendar.

It's been one of those nose-to-the-grindstone weeks, where I'm working on the computer for hours, doing layouts, designs, twiddling and fiddling with elements, comparing, revising. And investigating some freelance writing possibilities, which of course entailed completely revising my resume. And always checking out real estate and working on marketing our listings and searching for places to advertise some of them. I feel very focused...okay, somewhat obsessed. I dream about my to-do list when I finally manage to get to sleep (but if I take a Tylenol PM, I'm just a zombie until after noon). My neck is stiff, my joints are creaky, I need to walk in the mornings but I'm also trying to get things done and checked off.


The little tree that always leafs out first is leafing...just barely, but there are definitely leaves popping. And while we may have more rain, the real winter weather is likely over. In fact, I bought seeds the other day -- lettuce, sugar snap peas, spinach, onion -- and would like to get part of the garden prepped this weekend maybe so I can start the cooler weather crops even though the last frost date is not until April 15. By the time I got the garden in last year, it was too late for peas and onions, and just borderline for lettuce.

I'm still planning to make those curtains, maybe replace the chair cushions, finish framing and hanging photos, cleaning parts of the house that haven't been touched in too long, and going through my closet to take to either Act II or Salvation Army. That's after I finish all the computer work. The freelance ops. Cleaning my hideously messy desk.

I'm living these days between the lines -- fully focused, but not mindfully moving. I'm doing, not being. I'm getting a little tired of it, but I also can't stop....

My favorite time of day is bedtime, when I ease into the flannel sheets, sink into the bed, and pick up my book. I love having Tony snug against my side, and the cats in their usual sleeping places on the bed. It's quiet, warm, and I can indulge in my favorite activity -- reading-- without feeling like I should be doing something else.

I hate not going to sleep quickly and hearing the clock hit 2 a.m. or even 3....

This too shall pass.

May you sleep peacefully. May you find a joyous moment in every day. May you be grateful for your blessings.

Me too.


Anonymous said...

I am also living between the lines. I retired early so my lines are boredom and purpose - it's tough.

I enjoy your musings.


Beth said...

Thank you! There are so many volunteer needs -- perhaps one of those would help you break out of that 'between' mode.