Saying thank you

I'll bet that your mother, like mine, insisted that you say 'please' and 'thank you,' and made you write thank-you notes every time you received a gift.

It's good practice. While I get more pleasure out of giving gifts than receiving them (don't get me wrong, I like gifts!), it is so fun to shop for or create the "right" item for loved ones and friends. Oh, it's time-consuming sometimes, and sometimes frustrating when it's hard to find just the exact thing you know they'll love -- but that's partly what it makes it so satisfying.

And I've been known to puddle up when someone thanks me from the heart, telling me how much it meant to them, whether it's a gift or a favor or whatever. It means a lot to me to know that my friends and family really enjoy a gift I chose, or that my words meant something to them.

Some years ago I worked with a woman, a little older than me, who was head of HR -- not usually a profession known for its kindness, at least in the corporate world. She was crisp, immaculately groomed from the top of her perfectly highlighted blonde coif to the tips of her perfectly polished, stylish, high-quality pumps. She did her job exceptionally well, seemed never ruffled by office incidents, and I'm quite sure could take an employee to task or fire them in the same even tones she used to answer the phone.

But she said thank you, often, and she remembered birthdays, anniversaries, recognized promotions, celebrated life events, and more with cards and personal notes. They were perfectly chosen, of course, but they also were always accompanied by a note (her handwriting was NOT perfect) that was warm and very friendly. I actually became fairly good friends with her -- she did not lead a perfect life -- and was impressed with the person I saw underneath. I vowed then that I wanted to be more like her, remembering to send cards and personal notes to mark occasions or say thank you, or even for no apparent reason other than to say "I'm glad I know you."

And oh, I'm so not perfect about it. But I try to say thank you when someone does a favor, or is especially generous or sweet, and that goes for people in service positions too.

Today, for instance, I needed a bit of repair on phone lines, and had ZERO expectation that someone really could get here today. So I was surprised when I got a call, considerably after 5 p.m., that he was on his way. And then I was very pleasantly surprised at the amount of time he spent making sure that things were just the way I wanted them, testing the lines, chatting about cats and phone wires and deer and so on. When I called him back, about half an hour after he'd left, to say that one jack still wasn't quite right, he was quick to give me a couple of options -- and I know he'd be back if I need more help.

So I just left a message for his supervisor to say thank you and how impressed I am with the service and performance. Maybe it'll make a difference when review time comes around for him -- but maybe it'll also let him know that someone appreciated his service enough to say so.

On my bulletin board is a thank you note from a client who we helped purchase land a few years ago. It has one of her photos showing a hillside of flowering wildflowers there. It made a HUGE difference to me, that little note and photo, and can still make me feel competent and successful when I read it, no matter what kind of day I've had. Her words are still with me nearly three years later, and I still appreciate that she took the time to take the picture and write a note to me.

As I get older, saying thank you has become more important to me. Maybe it's because I know how fragile life is, and that if we don't seize the moment to tell someone we love them or appreciate them or say thank you, we may never have the chance to do so. Maybe it's because I know how appreciative words, kind words, loving words, can make ME feel. Maybe it's because I know that sometimes a simple thank you can make all the difference in someone else's day, just as it's done for me. I don't know exactly -- I just know that it is a good thing.

Sure beats getting all riled up about mean old selfish men, doesn't it!