Sunday, March 08, 2009

Struggling for balance

and I don't mean the stay-upright kind (although that too is hard for me!)

Mostly I've covered all my current worries in another post, a little over a month ago.

Same old, same old. Different day.

Predictably, one is going back to live with her abusive BF -- in another few months, she says, to "make sure" the changes she thinks she sees are real. (He's in counseling and going to AA meetings, she says) We've covered everything there is for us to say in many previous conversations. And what she apparently doesn't realize is that our perception of the guy is more than 90% based on things she's told us over the last 31/2 years!

The other -- she's trying to learn how to live a completely different life, and to no one's surprise, is having a hard time with it. Problem is that you don't make friends worth having quickly: you have to work at it, and it takes time. The friends you make quickly are usually out to get whatever they can out of YOU. Couple that with new meds, probably too much alone time, and her sister moving out, and it doesn't make for happy days. She's not able to work right now -- both good and bad to that, and I'm also handling her finances, so she feels very dependent (which she is) and hates that too, understandably.

So I'm working to let it go, let it be, and return my focus to my own life.

On the plus side, we got outside this weekend and sprayed gallons of RoundUp around the house, up and down the driveway, around the garden, on some slopes -- got a little sunburned, and it felt good to be outside and doing something besides hunched over a computer keyboard! Need more of that, the being outside thing.

I know the Universe isn't done with the girls yet, nor with us. Things will change -- that is the one thing I know for sure. Pray that they can learn to change too, and to make better choices for themselves and their lives than some they've made in the past. Pray for me that I can accept the fact that they must learn their own lessons just as I have had to learn mine.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Not all of my father's daughters do not have their lives together at least.